Slop setting up an intemperate
laugh--and my mother crying out L... bless us!--it drove my father's
Asse off the field--and the laugh then becoming general--there was no
bringing him back to the charge, for some time--

And so the discourse went on without him.

Every body, said my mother, says you are in love, brother Toby,--and we
hope it is true.

I am as much in love, sister, I believe, replied my uncle Toby, as any
man usually is--Humph! said my father--and when did you know it? quoth
my mother--

--When the blister broke; replied my uncle Toby.

My uncle Toby's reply put my father into good temper--so he charg'd o'
foot.

Chapter 4.LVII.

As the ancients agree, brother Toby, said my father, that there are two
different and distinct kinds of love, according to the different parts
which are affected by it--the Brain or Liver--I think when a man is in
love, it behoves him a little to consider which of the two he is fallen
into.

What signifies it, brother Shandy, replied my uncle Toby, which of the
two it is, provided it will but make a man marry, and love his wife, and
get a few children?

--A few children! cried my father, rising out of his chair, and looking
full in my mother's face, as he forced his way betwixt her's and doctor
Slop's--a few children! cried my father, repeating my uncle Toby's words
as he walk'd to and fro--

--Not, my dear brother Toby, cried my father, recovering himself all at
once, and coming close up to the back of my uncle Toby's chair--not
that I should be sorry hadst thou a score--on the contrary, I should
rejoice--and be as kind, Toby, to every one of them as a father--

My uncle Toby stole his hand unperceived behind his chair, to give my
father's a squeeze--

--Nay, moreover, continued he, keeping hold of my uncle Toby's hand--so
much dost thou possess, my dear Toby, of the milk of human nature, and
so little of its asperities--'tis piteous the world is not peopled by
creatures which resemble thee; and was I an Asiatic monarch, added
my father, heating himself with his new project--I would oblige thee,
provided it would not impair thy strength--or dry up thy radical
moisture too fast--or weaken thy memory or fancy, brother Toby, which
these gymnics inordinately taken are apt to do--else, dear Toby, I would
procure thee the most beautiful woman in my empire, and I would oblige
thee, nolens, volens, to beget for me one subject every month--

As my father pronounced