doing. Then as a last despairing effort he tried to charge
it over on its back and rip the hide off it with his teeth.

"But the old tank gave a 'good-by ee' cough of its exhaust and rumbled
off as if nothing had happened, nothing at all. I have never seen
such a look of surprise on any living creature's face as was on that
donk's. He sank down on his tail, gave a hissing gasp and rolled over
stone dead. Broken heart."

"Is that the end?" Albert Edward inquired.

"It is," said Monk; "and if you go outside and look half-right you'll
see the bereaved Mr. O'Dwyer, all got up in sack-cloth, cinders
and crepe rosettes, mooning over the deceased like a dingo on an
ash-heap." PATLANDER.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Aunt Maria_. "DO YOU KNOW I ONCE ACTUALLY SAW THE
KAISER RIDING THROUGH THE STREETS OF LONDON AS BOLD AS BRASS. IF I'D
KNOWN THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW I'D HAVE TOLD A POLICEMAN."]

* * * * *

"FOR THE DURATION ..."

"The forenoon service in the Parish Church will be at 11 o'clock
instead of 11.15 on Sunday first, and will continue till further
orders."--_Scottish Paper_.

* * * * *

AID FOR THE MILITARY POLICE.

"The recruiting hut which is being erected in Trafalgar Square in
connection with the campaign undertaken by the Ministry of Labour
to recruit women for the Women's Army Auxiliary Cops will shortly
be completed."--_Sunday Pictorial_.

* * * * *

"She was visited occasionally by a man of foreign appearance, who
was believed to be her bother-in-law."--_Ipswich Evening Star_.

Probably one of those "strained relations" we so often read about.

* * * * *

"My Correspondent's bona fides are above suspicion."--_"The
Clubman" in "The Pall Matt Gazette."_

One good fide deserves another, but of course the more the merrier.

* * * * *

[Illustration: Keen Motorist _(who has temporarily taken to
push-biking, to leisurely fowl which has brought him low)_. "JUST
YOU WAIT TILL THEY REMOVE THESE PETROL RESTRICTIONS."]

* * * * *

INVITATION.

If you will come and stay with us you shall not want for ease;
We'll swing you on a cobweb between the forest trees;
And twenty little singing-birds upon a flowering thorn
Shall hush you every ev