lf ordinary with that half-insincere depreciation of self which
is common to all of us when we speak of our own attributes, but which
we by no means intend that they who hear us shall accept as strictly
true, or shall re-echo as their own approved opinions. But in this
instance Captain Aylmer, though he had not quite done that, had done
almost as bad.
"Then I suppose I had better keep out of her way," said Clara, by no
means laughing as she spoke.
"Of course when we are married you must go and see her."
"You do not, at any rate, promise me a very agreeable visit, Fred.
But I dare say I shall survive it. After all, it is you that I am to
marry, and not your mother; and as long as you are not majestic to
me, I need not care for her majesty."
"I don't know what you mean by majesty."
"You must confess that you speak of her as of something very
terrible."
"I say that she is particular;--and so she is. And as my respect for
her opinion is equal to my affection for her person, I hope that you
will make a great effort to gain her esteem."
"I never make any efforts of that kind. If esteem doesn't come
without efforts it isn't worth having."
"There I disagree with you altogether;--but I especially disagree
with you as you are speaking about my mother, and about a lady who
is to become your own mother-in-law. I trust that you will make such
efforts, and that you will make them successfully. Lady Aylmer is not
a woman who will give you her heart at once, simply because you have
become her son's wife. She will judge you by your own qualities, and
will not scruple to condemn you should she see cause."
Then there was a longer silence, and Clara's heart was almost in
rebellion even on this, the first day of her engagement. But she
quelled her high spirit, and said no further word about Lady Aylmer.
Nor did she speak again till she had enabled herself to smile as she
spoke.
"Well, Fred," she said, putting her hand upon his arm, "I'll do my
best, and woman can do no more. And now I'll say good night, for I
must pack for to-morrow's journey before I go to bed." Then he kissed
her,--with a cold, chilling kiss,--and she left him for the night.
CHAPTER XII.
MISS AMEDROZ RETURNS HOME.
Clara was to start by a train leaving Perivale at eight on the
following morning, and therefore there was not much time for
conversation before she went. During the night she had endeavoured so
to school herself as to banis
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