these poor readers of the _Freeman's Journal_ and
such-like prints, prepared for their special use and written down to
their level, must not be classed with the people of Ireland at all.
Every country has its ruffian element, every country has its poisonous
press. Ireland is no worse than other countries in these respects."

My Irish Conservative Home Ruler would have gone on indefinitely,
furnishing excellent matter, for he improved as he warmed up, but
unhappily a priest called on him to make some purchase, and he had to
leave me without much notice. "Over the way," he said. "Trip across to
the opposite shop, and you'll find another Tory Home Ruler."

As I "tripped" across I thought of the Pills and Ointment man who
amassed a colossal fortune by fifty years' advertising of the fact
that wonders never will cease. Mr. Overtheway was not quite so Tory as
might be supposed, after all. He said:--

"I have no objection to Home Rule, but, although a Catholic, I have
the greatest objection to Rome Rule, which is precisely what it means.
I object to this great Empire being ruled from Rome. The greatest
Empire that the world ever saw to be bossed by a party of priests! Do
the English know what they are now submitting to?

"Let me put the thing logically, and controvert me if you can.

"If Mr. Gladstone wished to go to war to-morrow, is he not at the
mercy of the Irish Nationalist party? Could he get votes of supply
without their aid? In the event of any sudden, or grave emergency, any
serious and critical contingency, would they not hold the key of the
position, would they not have the power to make or mar the Empire?
Surely they would. And are not these men in the hands of the priests?
Surely they are. That is a matter of common knowledge, as sure as that
water will drown and fire will burn. A pretty position for a sensible
man like John Bull to be placed in by a blethering idiot, who can
argue with equal volubility on either side, but with more conviction
when in the wrong. Bull must have been drunk, and drunk on stupid
beer, when he placed his heart strings between the finger and thumb of
a quack like that, who, whatever the result, whether we get Home Rule
or not, has ruined the country for five-and-twenty years.

"Yes, I am a Home Ruler. But for heaven's sake don't thrust
self-government on an unfortunate country that is not ready for it.
That country cries for it, you say. The snuffling old air-pump across
the Chan