idn't like to lind,
an' he was afeared to say No, an' he was in a quondairy intirely. So,
says he 'I'll lind ye the money,' says he, 'if ye'll bring the
securities down to the bank,' says he, 'an' get the cash off me
banker.' Thin he went saycretly to the banker, an' says he, 'This
thievin' blayguard,' says he, 'wants the money, and he'll never repay
me; I wouldn't thrust him,' says he. 'Now, will ye help me, for I
couldn't say No, by raison he's a relative, an' an owld acquaintance,'
says he.

"'An' how'll I do that?' says the banker.

"'Ye can tur-rn up yer nose at the securities.'

"'Ha, Ha,' says the banker, 'is it there ye are? Ye're a deep one;
begorra ye are. Nabocklish,' says he, 'I'll do it for ye,' says he.

"So whin the borrower wint for the money, the banker sent out word
that the securities wor not good enough, an' that he wouldn't advance
a farden.

"Then the borrower goes to his frind an' complains, an' thin the frind
acts all out the way Gladstone'll act when the bill's refused at the
Lords, or may be at the Commons. 'Hell to him,' he roars, 'the
blayguard thief iv a thievin' banker. I'll tache him to refuse a
frind, says he. 'Sarve him right,' says he, 'av I bate his head into
a turnip-mash an' poolverise him into Lundy Foot snuff. May be I
won't, whin I meet him, thrash him till the blood pours down his
heels,' says he. That'll be the way iv it. That's what Gladstone will
say whin the bill's lost, which he manes it to be, the conthrivin'
owld son o' a schamer.

"A gintleman axed me which o' them I like best o' the two Home Rule
Bills, an' I towld him that whin I lived at Ennis, an' drove a car at
the station there, the visithors, Americans an' English, would be
axin' me whin they lepped on the car which was the best hotel in
Ennis. Now, whiniver I gave them my advice they would be cur-rsin' an'
sinkin' at me whin they met me aftherwards in the sthreet, be raison
that there was only two hotels in the place, an' nayther o' thim was
at all aiqual to what they wor used to in their own counthries. So I
got to know this, an' iver afther, whin they would be sayin' to me,

"'Which is the best hotel in Ennis?' says they, an' I would answer,

"'Faix, there's only two o' thim, an' to whichiver one ye go ye will
be sorrowin' that ye didn't go to the other,' says I.

"An' that's my reply as to which of the two Home Rule Bills I like
best."

In the city of Limerick itself all is quiet and orderly. Outsi