?"

"Well, don't you suppose _I know_! Do I look as if I would be the
husband of anything that looks like _that_?"

The old lady now caught sight of Lehman for the first time.

"Why," she gasped; "that isn't my husband."

"I know darn well it ain't," said Lehman.

"Then what are you doing in my berth?" demanded the old lady.

"I am not in your berth!"

"You _are_ in my berth!"

"Let's see your tickets," said the conductor.

"Here is mine," said the old lady. "Lower seven."

"And here is mine," said Lehman. "Lower seven."

The conductor looked at them closely; then stepped back under a lamp and
looked at them closer. Then he handed the old lady's back to her. Then
he turned to Lehman and, handing him his ticket, said,

"That is your yesterday's ticket from Kansas City to Chicago." Lehman
looked at it dazed for a moment, then dressed and went up into the
baggage car where he sat on a trunk all the way to New York.

* * * * *

E. M. Chase, a Norfolk (Va.) newspaper man, has for years been
collecting newspaper clippings. The following are from some of his rural
exchanges:

"The funeral was conducted at the home by the Rev. Mr. Browles and was
afterwards buried in the old family burying ground."--_Lebanon (Va.)
News._

"Mrs. W. G. Neighbors is suffering with a rising corn on her
foot."--_Lebanon News._

"J. N. and Alfred Quillen were grafting in our neighborhood a few days
last week."--_Gate City Herald._

"Rev. W. C. Hoover preached an excellent sermon at the Union Chapel on
last Sunday, his subject being entitled, 'I go to prepare a place for
you.' Rev. Hoover and family then spent the rest of the day with Mr.
Luther Armentrout and family."--_Shenendore Valley Newmarket._

"The members of Moore's Store String Band met Saturday evening and
rendered some very fine music, as follows: W. E. Lloyd, H. E.
Weatherholtz, V. M. Weatherholtz, B. H. Golliday, C. S. Moore and 26
spectators."--_Shenendore Valley Newmarket._

"Selone Sours is out after a severe cold.

"Her daughter Emma Sours is still nursing her risings.

"Your scribe took a trip to Louray one day last week and purchased three
sacks of fertilizer, one peck of clover seed and a half bushel of
timothy seed.

"We remarked to our little son the other day that it was going to rain,
as certain birds were singing, and he said, 'Pa, rain don't come out of
a bird.'"--_The Page News._

* * *