from four to
six cents while the orchestra seats are two dollars and a half.

While you can see a first-class Vaudeville show for four cents, it costs
you twenty-four cents to sit in the gallery of most any Moving Picture
show; and sixty-two cents downstairs.

The Palace Theater in London is probably the highest class Vaudeville
theater in the world. This is very nice, but it has its drawbacks. The
audience applauds by gently tapping two fingers together and nodding
heads approvingly.

Oscar Hammerstein asked Mrs. Cressy how she liked the London audiences.

"First-rate," replied Mrs. C., "only you have to look at them to see
whether they are applauding or not."

"Look at them?" said Mr. H. "_You have to ask them._"

* * * * *

George Whiting had just had his hat cleaned.

"How does it look?" he asked of his partner, Aubrey Pringle.

"Looks all right enough," said Pringle, "but it smells like a monkey
wedding."

* * * * *

It was Tuesday afternoon in St. Paul; the show was going very badly; the
first three acts had gone on and come off, without a laugh; then Frank
Moran went on. After he had come off, and was on his way to his room,
one of the ladies who had been on before him called from her dressing
room,

"Did you succeed in waking them up, Mr. Moran?"

"Um--yes--I woke up a couple of them," said Frank.

"What did they do?" asked the girl.

"Went out," said Frank.

* * * * *

We had received a letter from a European Booking Office requesting us to
play an engagement at Glasgow, Scotland.

"I would like to know what they think we could do in Scotland," I said;
"those chaps never could understand me."

"Well, my goodness," said my wife, "if they can understand each other
they shouldn't have any trouble understanding us."

* * * * *

Probably the line that has been jumbled up and spoken wrong more times
on the stage than any other is

"I am still fancy free and heart whole."

Try it; and see how many ways there are to go wrong on it.

* * * * *

At Keith's Theater in Boston one week the program announced that two of
the acts to be seen that week were--

"Cressy & Dayne; The latest importation in trained animal acts."

and--

"Barron's Dogs, in Mr. Cressy's one act play, _Bill Biffin's Baby_."

"WOODIE"

"Woodie," of the o