he old lady gave a
yell and a jump--and landed right in front of our car. I sounded the
horn, "_Squawk! Squawk!_" and she gave another yell and another jump,
off to the side, and the sailor hat fell off, right in front of our car.

The old lady started to go back for the hat; I slammed on the brakes and
threw out the clutch. When I threw out the clutch the engine raced for a
moment--"_W-h-i-r-r-r-r!_" Again the old lady yelled and jumped back.
And standing in the gutter, she shook her fist at me and screamed--

"_---- ---- you, don't you boomp me!_"

"Go on and get your hat," I said, "I won't bump you."

Cautiously she stooped over and reached for the hat. And at that moment
a messenger boy on a bicycle came tearing around the corner out of 44th
Street, and struck the old lady where she was, at that moment, the most
prominent. In an instant boy--old lady--bicycle--bundles and sailor hat
were all mussed up together in the gutter. She had dodged two trolley
cars and an automobile, only to be run down by a boy on a bicycle.

As I drove on, I gave one glance back; and the bundles, hat and bicycle
lay in the gutter, while the boy was on the dead run up Broadway with
the old lady after him.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN SIGNS?

(These are all actual signs that I have come across in my travels.)

Paterson, N. J. "Henry Worms. Vegetables."

Chicago. "I. D. Kay. Fresh Vegetables."

Brooklyn, N. Y. "Kick, the Printer."

Pittsburg, Pa. "Daub, the Painter."

Dalton, Ga. "Tapp, the Jeweler."

Washington, D. C. "Shake, the Grocer."

Oakland, Cal. "Fake, Jeweler."

Philadelphia. "Dr. Aker, Dentist."

Oakland, Cal. "Dr. Muchmore, Dentist."

New York, N. Y. "Mr. Champoo, Dentist."

Chicago. "Artificial Eyes. Open all Night."

Seattle, Wash. "Artificial Limbs. Walk In."

Buffalo, N. Y. "English & Irish. Furniture."

Denver, Colo. "Painless Dyeing."

Salt Lake City. "Come In: The Soda Water's Fine."

Oakland, Cal. "Letts-Love, Florists."

Seattle, Wash. "Dr. Fixott, Dentist."

Boston. "B. Stiller, Photographer."

Boston. "Dr. Capwell, Dentist."

Hartford, Conn. "Best & Smart, Dry Goods."

Boston. "Neal & Pray, Religious Publications."

Newark, N. J. A millinery store announces--"We Trim Free of Charge."

San Francisco. "Coats, Pants & Vests, one half off."

Denver. "The Rothchild Cigar. Ten cents or two for a quarter."

Paterson