ze
When you see all Europe in a blaze!
Russia gobbling your world half in,
Red Republicans settling with _sin_;
Satan broke loose and nothing between--
_That's_ what you'll catch if you intervene!

MACCARONI AND CANVAS.

VII.

'A REEL TITIANO FOR SAL.'

There was a shop occupied by a dealer in paintings, engravings,
intaglios, old crockery, and _Bric-a-brac_-ery generally, down the Via
Condotti, and into this shop Mr. William Browne, of St. Louis, one
morning found his way. He had been induced to enter by reading in the
window, written on a piece of paper,

'A REEL TITIANO FOR SAL,'

and as he wisely surmised that the dealer intended to notify the English
that he had a painting by Titian for sale, he went in to see it.

Unfortunately for Mr. Browne, familiarly known as Uncle Bill, he had one
of those faces that invariably induced Roman tradesmen to resort to the
Oriental mode of doing business, namely, charging three hundred per cent
profit; and as this dealer having formerly been a courier,
commissionaire and pander to English and American travelers, naturally
spoke a disgusting jargon of Italianized English, and had what he
believed were the most distinguished manners: _he_ charged five hundred
per cent.

'I want,' said Uncle Bill to the 'brick-Bat' man, 'to see your Titian.'

'I shall expose 'im to you in one moment, sare; you walk this way. He's
var' fine pickshoor, var' fine. You ben long time in Rome, sare?'

No reply from Uncle Bill: his idea was, even a wise man may ask
questions, but none but fools answer fools.

Brick-bat man finds that his customer has ascended the human scale one
step; he prepares 'to spring dodge' Number two on him.

'Thare, sar, thare is Il Tiziano! I spose you say you see notheeng bote
large peas board: zat peas board was one table for two, tree hundret
yars; all zat time ze pickshoor was unbeknounst undair ze table. Zey
torn up ze table, and you see a none-doubted Tiziano. Var' fine
pickshoor!'

'Do you know,' asked Uncle Bill, 'if it was in a temperance family all
that time?'

'I am not acquent zat word, demprance--wot it means?'

'Sober,' was the answer.

'Yas, zat was in var' sobair fam'ly--in convent of nons.'

'That will account for its being undiscovered so long--all the world
knows they are not inquisitive! If it had been in a drinking-house, some
body falling under the table would have seen it--wouldn't they?'

Brick-bat reflects, and c