brethren spoke a
little in the way of exhortation, and we read also such writings of godly
men as were calculated for edification. I was often greatly stirred up and
refreshed in these meetings; and twice, being in a backsliding state, and
therefore cold and miserable, I opened my heart to the brethren, and was
brought out of that state through the means of their exhortations and
prayers. "Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together," is a most
important exhortation. Even if we should not derive any especial benefit,
at the time, so far as we are conscious, yet we may be kept from much
harm. And very frequently the beginning of coldness of heart is nourished
by keeping away from the meetings of the saints. I know, when I was cold,
and had no real desire to be brought out of that state, I went a few times
into the villages, where I was sure not to meet with brethren, that I
might not be spoken to about the things of God. Yet so gracious was the
Lord, that my very wretchedness brought me back after a few hours. The
Lord had begun a good work in me; and being faithful, though I was
faithless, He would not give me up, but carried on His gracious work in
me; though it would have progressed much more rapidly, had not my
rebellious heart resisted. As to the other means of grace I would say: I
fell into the snare, into which so many young believers fall, the reading
of religious books in preference to the Scriptures. I could no longer read
French and German novels, as I had formerly done, to feed my carnal mind;
but still I did not put into the room of those books the best of all
books. I read tracts, missionary papers, sermons, and biographies of godly
persons. The last kind of books I found more profitable than others, and
had they been well selected, or had I not read too much of such writings,
or had any of them tended particularly to endear the Scriptures to me,
they might have done me much good.--I never had been at any time in my
life in the habit of reading the Holy Scriptures. When under fifteen years
of age, I occasionally read a little of them at school; afterwards God's
precious book was entirely laid aside, so that I never read one single
chapter of it, as far as I remember, till it pleased God to begin a work
of grace in my heart. Now the scriptural way of reasoning would have been:
God Himself has condescended to become an author, and I am ignorant about
that precious book, which His Holy Spirit has caused to