the rain and the sodden
khaki's stench!
Then over the top in the morning, and onward all you can--
This is the work that wins the War, the work of the infantryman.

* * * * *

WHERE IS THE CENSOR?

"A woman has been fined L10 for chipping lyddite out of a shell which
had been over-filled by means of a screwdriver."--_Evening Paper._

We protest against our newspapers being allowed to inform the enemy in this
way of our methods of filling shells.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A DEAD FROST.

PRESIDENT PYGMALION WILSON. "THE DURNED THING WON'T COME TO LIFE!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: "I SAY, SOMEONE'S STOLEN MY CAR!"

"DEAR ME! IT WAS A NEW ONE, WASN'T IT?"

"YES. BUT I DON'T MIND THE CAR; THERE WAS A TIN OF PETROL IN THE BACK."]

* * * * *

OUR NEW ARMY OF WOMEN.

_From Adjutant to O.C. A Company._

Your return of trained Bombers not yet to hand. Please expedite.

(Did you see O.C. B Company's hat at church parade last Sunday? Isn't it
positively the outside edge?)

ELIZABETH TUDOR JONES,
_Mrs. and Adjutant._

_Second-Lieut. Darling to Adjutant._

I should be obliged if I could have leave from next Tuesday, as otherwise I
shall not be able to attend the sales, and my Sam Browne is quite the
dowdiest in tho whole battalion.

JOAN DARLING,
_Second-Lieut._

_O.C. Signallers to Quartermaster._

Lance-Corporal Flapper of this section has been charged for bottle, scent,
one. In view of the fact that this N.C.O. has not been supplied with bottle
since joining this unit I take it that such will be a free issue.

EMMA PIPP,
_Lieut._

_O.C. A Company to Quartermaster._

Please note fact that the boots, khaki suede uppers, pair, one, issued
yesterday to 21537 Private B. Prig, are not supplied with regulation
Louis-Quinze heels. The boots are therefore herewith returned.

BOADICEA BLUNT.
_Capt. O.C. A Coy._

_From O.C. B Company to O.C. D Company._

Herewith A.F. 26511, with cheque for pay of 2773, Private O. Jones, B
Company, attached D Company, for your attention and necessary action,
please.

(Have you heard the absolutely latest? The Major is engaged, and she has
asked O.C. C Company and the Quartermaster to be bridesmaids! Not that _I_
wanted to take it on. But think of poor dear O.C. C! _Won't_ she look
too-