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the rain and the sodden khaki's stench! Then over the top in the morning, and onward all you can-- This is the work that wins the War, the work of the infantryman. * * * * * WHERE IS THE CENSOR? "A woman has been fined L10 for chipping lyddite out of a shell which had been over-filled by means of a screwdriver."--_Evening Paper._ We protest against our newspapers being allowed to inform the enemy in this way of our methods of filling shells. * * * * * [Illustration: A DEAD FROST. PRESIDENT PYGMALION WILSON. "THE DURNED THING WON'T COME TO LIFE!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "I SAY, SOMEONE'S STOLEN MY CAR!" "DEAR ME! IT WAS A NEW ONE, WASN'T IT?" "YES. BUT I DON'T MIND THE CAR; THERE WAS A TIN OF PETROL IN THE BACK."] * * * * * OUR NEW ARMY OF WOMEN. _From Adjutant to O.C. A Company._ Your return of trained Bombers not yet to hand. Please expedite. (Did you see O.C. B Company's hat at church parade last Sunday? Isn't it positively the outside edge?) ELIZABETH TUDOR JONES, _Mrs. and Adjutant._ _Second-Lieut. Darling to Adjutant._ I should be obliged if I could have leave from next Tuesday, as otherwise I shall not be able to attend the sales, and my Sam Browne is quite the dowdiest in tho whole battalion. JOAN DARLING, _Second-Lieut._ _O.C. Signallers to Quartermaster._ Lance-Corporal Flapper of this section has been charged for bottle, scent, one. In view of the fact that this N.C.O. has not been supplied with bottle since joining this unit I take it that such will be a free issue. EMMA PIPP, _Lieut._ _O.C. A Company to Quartermaster._ Please note fact that the boots, khaki suede uppers, pair, one, issued yesterday to 21537 Private B. Prig, are not supplied with regulation Louis-Quinze heels. The boots are therefore herewith returned. BOADICEA BLUNT. _Capt. O.C. A Coy._ _From O.C. B Company to O.C. D Company._ Herewith A.F. 26511, with cheque for pay of 2773, Private O. Jones, B Company, attached D Company, for your attention and necessary action, please. (Have you heard the absolutely latest? The Major is engaged, and she has asked O.C. C Company and the Quartermaster to be bridesmaids! Not that _I_ wanted to take it on. But think of poor dear O.C. C! _Won't_ she look too-
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