icial. Special quality fitted with small electric bulb
for evening wear.

For those who desire a really striking and chic novelty, that up-to-date
line, the Great Eccentric, is reported to have engaged a staff of expert
tattoo artists, who will puncture the date and designation of the pass upon
the left cheek of the holder. Being not only elegant in design but
practically irremovable, these markings will form a permanent and
increasingly interesting memento of the Great War. Price according to
distance and lettering.

* * * * *

[Illustration: REAL PROBLEMS AT THE FRONT.

_First C.O._ "_I_ TELL YOU WHAT. FIND ME A MAN WHO CAN COOK CUTLETS
DECENTLY, AND YOU SHALL HAVE OUR SECOND-BEST PIERROT."]

* * * * *

TACTLESS.

"THANKSGIVING SERVICE on Sunday, February 18th, Canon ----'s last day
as Vicar of ----."--_Midland Paper._

* * * * *

ANOTHER GLIMPSE OF THE OBVIOUS.

"There is very general agreement in banking circles in the City as to
the satisfactory character of the response which has already been made
to the new War Loan, but good though it has been, the total must still
be small compared with the need, and must fall infinitely short of the
figure aimed at, which, of course, is unlimited."--_Sunday Times._

* * * * *

THE SMILE OF VICTORY.

[According to Reuter's Washington Correspondent, women suffragists have
of late regularly picketed the White House. When President WILSON
appears "they deploy so that he cannot fail to see their banners. The
President smiles broadly and passes on."]

Though LODGE in the Senate makes critical speeches
And ROOSEVELT belligerent heresy preaches,
Though Suffragist pickets keep guard at its portals--
Undismayed and unshaken the PRESIDENT chortles.

He "smiles" at them "broadly" and then hurries off
To type a new Note, or perhaps to play golf;
And, while studying closely his putts, to explore
The obscurity shrouding the roots of the War.

To cope with emergency once in a way
Is nothing to facing it every day;
And that's where the PRESIDENT'S greatness is seen,
He's consistently cheerful and calm and serene.

O happy idealist! Others may weep
At the crimes and the horrors that murder their sleep;
You've two perfect specifics your cares to beguile--
An oracular phrase,