orld has just died at the Zoo. The animal
came from Kordofan, where, Mr. POCOCK tells us, all the really tall
ones have been told.

***

It is reported that General VON BISSING is retiring from Belgium as
his health shows no signs of improvement. The blood baths he has been
taking have not afforded the expected relief.

***

It was stated at a London Tribunal that the War Office has just given
a contract for 2,400 waste-paper baskets. If further evidence was
required of our unshakable determination to carry the War to a
successful conclusion, it is surely provided by this indication of the
extent to which the public are helping the War Office with suggestions
as to how to win it.

***

Attention has been called to the waste of time and money involved in
the calling of grand juries where there are only one or two trifling
cases to be tried, and it is suggested that they might be able to
combine their juridical functions with some useful employment. A
correspondent who signs himself "Lifer" points out to us that the
grand jurymen he has met are just the men the nation needs for the
Tribunals if the combing-out process is to be effectual.

***

A man who was to have appeared before the Law Society Tribunal excused
himself on the ground that he was suffering from melancholia, and
regret was expressed by the military representative that he should
have been misinformed as to the nature of the entertainment.

***

The admission of a Stuttgart professor that trousers are a German
invention has given the liveliest satisfaction to our Highland
regiments, who have long had an intuitive feeling that the Hun
was guilty of even blacker crimes than those of which we had been
officially informed.

***

A "Longer Course for Cadets" is announced by a morning paper. The
Food Controller is to be asked to make public his reasons for this
obviously unfair discrimination between soldiers.

***

Men's wear, it is reported, will be twenty-five per cent. dearer this
year than last, but a good example in economy is rumoured to have been
set by a well-known actor manager, who now only wears a crease in one
leg of his trousers.

***

A burglar who broke into a Manchester wine stores made off with a
large sum of money, but none of the wine was taken. This once again
proves that total abstinence is absolutely essential to business
success.

***

Consternation