les); also a few Girls to
learn; good wages paid."--_Evening Paper_.

* * * * *

ANOTHER IMPENDING APOLOGY.

From an obituary notice:--

"In civil life he was employed as an attendant on those
inflicted with weak minds. He joined the regiment at ---- Camp
and was at once employed as Colonel ----'s servant."--_Burma
Paper_.

* * * * *

"Mars is the name of a star so far off it would take a million
years to walk there in an express train."

"A miracle is anything that someone does that can't be done."

"People who have always used tooth-brushes and who know the
thing to do never use any but their own."

"The Pagans were a contented race until the Christians came
among them."--_Hawaii Educational Review_.

If _The Review_ can maintain this form the consciously comic journals
of the American Empire will have to look to their laurels.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE RECRUIT WHO TOOK TO IT KINDLY.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Super-Boy_. "BUT, FATHER, IF WE HAVE ALREADY
CONQUERED, WHY DOES THE WAR GO ON?"

_Super-Man_. "BE SILENT AND EAT YOUR HINDENBERG ROCK."]

* * * * *

WAR'S SURPRISES.

THE TRANSFORMATION OF "TAY PAY."

[_The Daily Chronicle_ alludes to a recent article by Mr. T.P.
O'CONNOR, M.P., as "a frigid survey of the situation."]

The War has done many astonishing things;
It has doubled the traffic in trinkets and rings;
It has reconciled us to margarine
And made many fat men healthily lean.
It has answered the critics of Public Schools
And proved the redemption of family fools.
It has turned golf links to potato patches
And made us less lavish in using matches.
It has latterly paralysed the jaw
Of the hitherto insuppressible SHAW.
It has made old Tories acclaim LLOYD GEORGE,
Whose very name once stuck in their gorge.
It has turned a number of novelists
Into amateur armchair strategists.
It has raised the lowly and humbled the wise
And forced us in dozens of ways to revise
The hasty opinions we formed of our neighbours
In view of their lives and deaths and labours.
It has cured many freaks of their futile hobbies,
It has made us acquainted with female bobbies.
It has very largely emptied the ranks
Of the valetudinarian cranks,
B