"

* * * * *

"THE COFFEE SPECIALIST

ROASTED FRESH DAILY."

_North China Daily News_.

Yet we dare say the poor fellow meant well.

* * * * *

"In the preliminary examination of patients the author
introduces a test which is new to us; two or three breaths
having been drawn through the nose, this organ is then punched
by the anaesthetist, whilst the patient holds his breath as
long as possible."--_The Practitioner_.

What the victim of this novel treatment says after recovering his
breath is happily withheld from us.

* * * * *

From the Daily Orders of an Australian Battalion:--

"MOVES OF OFFICERS.

The following Officers have reported their arrival and
departed respectfully."

Discipline in the Imperial contingents is evidently improving.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE BANKRUPT BRAVOS.

SCENE: _Vienna, between the Sittings of the Conference._

SULTAN. "IT'S TIME WE GOT SOME MORE MONEY OUT OF WILLIAM. HE SEEMS TO
THINK HE'S DOING ALL THE FRIGHTFULNESS. HE FORGETS THAT I'M KNOWN AS
THE 'TERRIBLE TURK.'"

FERDINAND. "YES: AND THEY CALL ME 'FERDIE THE FEARFUL.'"

[The latter title has recently been conferred upon the TSAR of
Bulgaria by his subjects in recognition of his continued absence from
Sofia since the bombing of his palace.]]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _G.O.C._ "WELL, MY MAN, WHAT ARE YOU IN CIVILIAN LIFE?"

_Dejected Private_. "PROFESSOR OF GREEK HISTORY AT ONE OF THE
UNIVERSITIES, SIR."]

* * * * *

THE MINIATURE.

When I left her, Celia had two photographs, a British warm and an
accidental coffee-stain, by which to remember me. The coffee-stain was
the purest accident. By her manner of receiving it, Celia gave me the
impression that she thought I had done it on purpose, but it was not
so. The coffee-cup slipped-in-me-'and-mum, after which the law of
gravity stepped in, thus robbing what would have been a polite deed of
most of its gallantry. However, I explained all that at the time. The
fact remains that, in whatever way you look at it, I had left my mark.
Celia was not likely to forget me.

But she was determined to make sure. No doubt mine is an elusive
personality; take the mind off it for one moment and it is gone. So I
was to be perpetuated i