e,"
he says; "but it does when others are present. You don't
follow out the fancy of the moment; you converse; you have
treasured thoughts to tell; you are disciplined,--artificial."
I pleaded guilty, and observed that I supposed that it must
be so with one of any continuity of thought, or earnestness
of character. "As to that," says he, "I shall not like you the
better for your excellence. I don't know what is the matter.
I feel strongly attracted towards you; but there is a drawback
in my mind,--I don't know exactly what. You will always be
wanting to grow forward; now I like to grow backward, too. You
are too ideal. Ideal people anticipate their lives; and they
make themselves and everybody around them restless, by always
being beforehand with themselves."

'I listened attentively; for what he said was excellent.
Following up the humor of the moment, he arrests admirable
thoughts on the wing. But I cannot but see, that what they say
of my or other obscure lives is true of every prophetic, of
every tragic character. And then I like to have them make me
look on that side, and reverence the lovely forms of nature,
and the shifting moods, and the clinging instincts. But I must
not let them disturb me. There is an only guide, the voice in
the heart, that asks, "Was thy wish sincere? If so, thou canst
not stray from nature, nor be so perverted but she will make
thee true again." I must take my own path, and learn from
them all, without being paralyzed for the day. We need great
energy, faith, and self-reliance to endure to-day. My age
may not be the best, my position may be bad, my character
ill-formed; but Thou, oh Spirit! hast no regard to aught but
the seeking heart; and, if I try to walk upright, wilt guide
me. What despair must he feel, who, after a whole life passed
in trying to build up himself, resolves that it would have
been far better if he had kept still as the clod of the
valley, or yielded easily as the leaf to every breeze! A path
has been appointed me. I have walked in it as steadily as I
could. I am what I am; that which I am not, teach me in the
others. I will bear the pain of imperfection, but not of
doubt. E. must not shake me in my worldliness, nor ---- in the
fine motion that has given me what I have of life, nor this
child of genius make me lay