sted here against his
countrymen, as he entertained towards the English.

"Lord love you!" said he, "I have no prejudice. I am the most candid man
you ever see. I have got some grit, but I ain't ugly, I ain't indeed."

"But you are wrong about the English; and I'll prove it to you. Do you
see that turkey there?" said he.

"Where?" I asked. "I see no turkey; indeed, I have seen none on board.
What do you mean?"

"Why that slight, pale-faced, student-like Britisher; he is a turkey,
that feller. He has been all over the Union, and he is a goin' to write
a book. He was at New York when we left, and was introduced to me in the
street. To make it liquorish, he has got all the advertisements about
runaway slaves, sales of niggers, cruel mistresses and licentious
masters, that he could pick up. He is a caterer and panderer to English
hypocrisy. There is nothin' too gross for him to swaller. We call them
turkeys; first because they travel so fast--for no bird travels hot foot
that way, except it be an ostrich--and second, because they gobble
up every thing that comes in their way. Them fellers will swaller a
falsehood as fast as a turkey does a grasshopper; take it right down
whole, without winkin'.

"Now, as we have nothin' above particular to do, 'I'll cram him' for
you; I will show you how hungry he'll bite at a tale of horror, let it
be never so onlikely; how readily he will believe it, because it is agin
us; and then, when his book comes out, you shall see that all England
will credit it, though I swear I invented it as a cram, and you swear
you heard it told as a joke. They've drank in so much that is strong,
in this way, have the English, they require somethin' sharp enough to
tickle their palates now. Wine hante no taste for a man that drinks
grog, that's a fact. It's as weak as Taunton water. Come and walk up and
down deck along with me once or twice, and then we will sit down by him,
promiscuously like; and as soon as I get his appetite sharp, see how I
will cram him."

"This steam-boat is very onsteady to-day. Sir," said Mr. Slick; "it's
not overly convenient walking, is it?"

The ice was broken. Mr. Slick led him on by degrees to his travels,
commencing with New England, which the traveller eulogised very much.
He then complimented him on the accuracy of his remarks and the depth
of his reflections, and concluded by expressing a hope that he would
publish his observations soon, as few tourists were so well qu