eir
head, if I could help it, to save my soul alive. What a spot o' work!

"What the plague do people mean here by askin' a mob to their house,
and invitin' twice as many as can get into it? If they think it's
complimental, they are infarnally mistaken, that's all: it's an insult
and nothin' else, makin' a fool of a body that way. Heavens and airth! I
am wringing wet! I'm ready to faint! Where's the key of your cellaret? I
want some brandy and water. I'm dead; bury me quick, for I won't be
nice directly. Oh dear! how that lean gall hurt me! How horrid sharp her
bones are!

"I wish to goodness you'd go to a Swoi-ree oncet, Squire, jist oncet--a
grand let off, one that's upper crust and rael jam. It's worth seein'
oncet jist as a show, I tell _you_, for you have no more notion of it
than a child. All Halifax, if it was swept up clean and shook out into a
room, wouldn't make one swoi-ree. I have been to three to night, and all
on 'em was mobs--regular mobs. The English are horrid fond of mobs, and
I wonder at it too; for of all the cowardly, miserable, scarry mobs,
that ever was seen in this blessed world, the English is the wust.
Two dragoons will clear a whole street as quick as wink, any time. The
instant they see 'em, they jist run like a flock of sheep afore a couple
of bull dogs, and slope off properly skeered. Lawful heart, I wish
they'd send for a dragoon, all booted, and spurred, and mounted, and let
him gallop into a swoi-ree, and charge the mob there. He'd clear 'em out
_I_ know, double quick: he'd chase one quarter of 'em down stairs head
over heels, and another quarter would jump out o' the winders, and break
their confounded necks to save their lives, and then the half that's
left, would he jist about half too many for comfort.

"My first party to-night wus a conversation one; that is for them that
_could_ talk; as for me I couldn't talk a bit, and all I could think
was, 'how infarnal hot it is! I wish I could get in!' or, 'oh dear, if
I could only get out!' It was a scientific party, a mob o' men. Well,
every body expected somebody would be squashed to death, and so ladies
went, for they always go to executions. They've got a kinder nateral
taste for the horrors, have women. They like to see people hanged or
trod to death, when they can get a chance. It _was_ a conversation
warn't it? that's all. I couldn't understand a word I heard. Trap shale
Greywachy; a petrified snail, the most important discovery of