ee play, and act, concentrating
on the present with all the force of which her diseased nerves were
capable.
Instead of thinking just then "after me the deluge," her thought was
"after my marriage to Rupert Louth the deluge." She would, she must,
make him her husband. It would be perhaps the last assertion of her
power. She knew enough of men to know that such an assertion might well
be followed by disaster. But she was prepared to brave any disaster
except one, the losing of Louth and the subsequent ironical amusement of
the "old guard."
Two or three days later Louth called, mounted on one of her horses, to
take her for a ride in the park.
During the previous night Lady Sellingworth had scarcely slept at all.
She had got up feeling desperately nervous and almost lightheaded. On
looking in the glass she had been shocked at her appearance, but she had
managed to alter that considerably, although not so completely as she
wished. Depression, following inevitably on insomnia, had fixed its
claws in her. She felt deadly, almost terrible, and as if her face must
be showing plainly the ugliness of her mental condition. For she
seemed to have lost control over it. The facial muscles seemed to have
hardened, to have become fixed. When the servant came to tell her that
Louth and the horses were at the door she was almost afraid to go down,
lest he should see at once in her face the strong will power which she
had summoned up; as a weapon in this crisis of her life.
As she went slowly downstairs she forced herself to smile. The smile
came with difficulty, but it came, and when she met Louth he did not
seem to notice any peculiarity in her. But, to tell the truth, he
scarcely seemed to notice her at all with any particularity. For her
strange and abnormal pre-occupation was matched by a like pre-occupation
in him. He took off his hat, bade her good morning, and helped her
skilfully to mount. But she saw at once that he was not as usual. His
face was grave and looked almost thoughtful. The merry light had gone
out of his eyes. And, strangest phenomenon of all, he was tongue-tied.
They started away from the house, and rode through Mayfair towards the
park in absolute silence.
She began to wonder very much what was the matter with Rupert, and
guessed that he had "come an awful cropper" of some kind. It must
certainly be an exceptional cropper to cloud his spirit. Perhaps he had
lost a really large sum of money, or perhaps h
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