and our train goes at
three."

Great Scott! So that is why the poor old souls have been hanging round
the door, terrifying us out of our lives.

"All right, we'll be out in five minutes. So sorry. Why didn't you call
out before?"

FRIDAY, 30TH, OR SATURDAY, I AM NOT SURE WHICH

Troubles of a Tourist Agent.--His Views on Tourists.--The English Woman
Abroad.--And at Home.--The Ugliest Cathedral in Europe.--Old Masters and
New.--Victual-and-Drink-Scapes.--The German Band.--A "Beer Garden."--Not
the Women to Turn a Man's Head.--Difficulty of Dining to Music.--Why one
should Keep one's Mug Shut.

I think myself it is Saturday. B. says it is only Friday; but I am
positive I have had three cold baths since we left Ober-Ammergau, which
we did on Wednesday morning. If it is only Friday, then I have had two
morning baths in one day. Anyhow, we shall know to-morrow by the shops
being open or shut.

We travelled from Oberau with a tourist agent, and he told us all his
troubles. It seems that a tourist agent is an ordinary human man, and
has feelings just like we have. This had never occurred to me before. I
told him so.

"No," he replied, "it never does occur to you tourists. You treat us as
if we were mere Providence, or even the Government itself. If all goes
well, you say, what is the good of us, contemptuously; and if things go
wrong, you say, what is the good of us, indignantly. I work sixteen
hours a day to fix things comfortably for you, and you cannot even look
satisfied; while if a train is late, or a hotel proprietor overcharges,
you come and bully _me_ about it. If I see after you, you mutter that I
am officious; and if I leave you alone, you grumble that I am neglectful.
You swoop down in your hundreds upon a tiny village like Ober-Ammergau
without ever letting us know even that you are coming, and then threaten
to write to the _Times_ because there is not a suite of apartments and a
hot dinner waiting ready for each of you.

"You want the best lodgings in the place, and then, when at a tremendous
cost of trouble, they have been obtained for you, you object to pay the
price asked for them. You all try and palm yourselves off for dukes and
duchesses, travelling in disguise. You have none of you ever heard of a
second-class railway carriage--didn't know that such things were made.
You want a first-class Pullman car reserved for each two of you. Some of
you have seen an omnibus in the dis