met him at dinner, and he told me facts that I did not previously know,
all the time I was trying to eat. Afterwards in the drawing-room he gave
a lecture. I rather forget the subject, but I think it was, 'Eggs I have
known.' He knew a great many. It was very instructive and uninteresting.
I think he said he had patented it. How does one patent a lecture?"

"Esme, you are talking nonsense!" Madame Valtesi said, dropping two more
stitches with an air of purpose.

"I hope I am. People who talk sense are like people who break stones in
the road: they cover one with dust and splinters. What is Mrs. Windsor
doing?"

"Looking for slugs," said Lord Reggie.

"Why?"

"To kill them."

"How dreadful! They live such gentle lives among the roses. Do let us
talk about religion. I want to try and feel appropriate. Ah! here is
Lady Locke. Lady Locke, we were just going to begin talking about
religion."

"Indeed!" she said, coming forward slowly, and looking a little colonial
after the completion of her task. "Do you know anything about the
subject?"

"No. That is why I want to talk about it. Vivacious ignorance is so
artistic."

"It is too common to be that," said Madame Valtesi. "Ignorant people are
always vivacious, just as really clever men never wear spectacles.
Wearing spectacles is the most played-out pose I know. I wonder the
Germans still keep it up."

"A nation that keeps up their army would keep up anything," said Esme.
"Germans always talk about foreign politics and native beer. Oh! Mrs.
Windsor has just permitted a slug to live. I can see that by the way in
which she is taking off her gloves and trying not to look magnanimous.
Is it nearly tea-time, Mrs. Windsor?" he added, as she came up, a little
flushed with under exertion. "I only ask because I am not thirsty. Tea
is one of those delightful things that one takes because one does not
want it. That is why we are all so passionately fond of it. It is like
death, exquisitely unnecessary."

"I have found several slugs," she answered triumphantly; "but I can't
kill them. They move so fast, at least when they are frightened. You
would never believe it. I came upon one under a leaf just now, and it
started just like a person disturbed in a nap. It fell right off the
leaf, and I couldn't find it again."

"I suppose slugs have nerves, then," Reggie said, getting up out of his
hammock, "and get strung up like people who over-work. Just think of a
strung-up slug!