pon the chapter a long while, and feared that I was doing
what I did, with a motive far different from the only proper one, viz.
the glory and the pleasure of God. I therefore threw by my paper without
finishing the copy, and applied myself diligently to the reading of the
prophecy of Isaiah. I had wished to find, in the prophets, plain proofs,
by which to establish, beyond contradiction, that Jesus Christ is the
Messiah, so long expected from ancient days; proofs that might be made
use of in answer to Moslems and Jews. While I was thus searching, I
found various passages, that would _bear_ an explanation according to my
views, but did not find them sufficient to enforce conviction on others,
until I finally came to the 52d chapter 14th verse, and onward to the
end of the next chapter.

On finding this testimony, my heart rejoiced, and was exceeding glad,
for it removed many dark doubts from my _own_ mind also. From that time,
my desire to read the New Testament, that I might discover the best
means of acting according to the doctrines of Jesus, was greatly
increased. I endeavoured to divest myself of all selfish bias, and loved
more and more to inquire into religious subjects. I saw, and continue to
see, many of the doctrines of the Roman Catholic church, which I could
not believe, and which I found opposed to the truths of the Gospel; and
I wished much to find some of her best teachers to explain them to me,
that I might see how they proved them from the Holy scriptures. As I was
reading an appendix to a copy of the sacred scriptures, printed at Rome
by the Propaganda, and searching out the passages referred to, for
proving the duty of worshipping saints, and other similar doctrines, I
found that these proofs failed altogether of establishing the points in
question, and that to infer such doctrines from such premises, was even
worthy of ridicule. Among other things, in this appendix, I found the
very horrible _Neronian_ doctrines, _that it is our duty to destroy
heretics_. Now every one knows, that whoever does not believe that the
pope is infallible, is a heretic in his opinions.

This doctrine is not merely that it is _allowable_ to kill heretics, but
that we are _bound_ to do it. From this I was the more established in my
convictions against the doctrines of the pope, and saw that they were
the doctrines of the ravenous beast, and not of the gentle lamb. After I
had read this, I asked one of the priests in Beyroot