this trip; indeed he shel."

"Very good," said Seward; "but at least find some clergyman who endorses
us without hevin P.M. to his honored name. It wood look better."

"I know it wood," replied Johnson; "but where kin we find sich a one? I
hev swung around the entire circle, and heven't ez yet seen him. Nasby
it must be."

There wuz then a lively discussion ez to the propriety, before the
procession started, of removin all the Federal offis-holders on the
proposed route, and appintin men who beleeved in us (Johnson, Beecher,
and Me), that we might be shoor uv a sootable recepshun at each pint at
wich we wuz to stop. The Annointed wuz in favor uv it. Sez he, "Them ez
won't support my polisy shan't eat my bread and butter." Randall and
Doolittle chimed in, for it's got to be a part of their religion to
assent to whatever the President sez, but I mildly protested. I owe a
duty to the party, and I am determined to do it.

"Most High," sez I, "a settin hen wich is lazy makes no fuss; cut its
head off, and it flops about, for a while, lively. Lincoln's
office-holders are settin hens. They don't like yoo nor yoor policy, but
while they are on their nests, they will keep moderitly quiet. Cut off
their heads, and they will spurt their blood in your face. Ez to bein
enshoord of a reception at each point, you need fear nothin. Calkerlatin
moderately, there are at least twenty-five or thirty patriots who feel a
call for every offis in your disposal. So long, Yoor Highnis, ez them
offisis is held just where they kin see em, and they don't know wich is
to git em, yoo may depend upon the entire enthoosiasm uv each,
individyooally and collectively. In short, ef there's 4 offises in a
town, and yoo make the appointments, yoo hev sekoored 4 supporters; till
yoo make the appointments yoo hev the hundred who expect to get em."

The President agreed with me that until after the trip the gullotine
shood stop.

Secretary Seward sejested that a clean shirt wood improve my personal
appearance, and akkordingly a cirkular wuz sent to the clerks in the
Departments, assessin em for that purpose. Sich uv em ez refoosed to
contribute their quota wuz instantly dismissed for disloyalty.

At last we started, and I must say we wuz got up in a highly
conciliatory style. Every wun of the civilians uv the party wore buzzum
pins, et settry, wich wuz presented to em by the Southern delegates to
the Philadelphia Convention, wich wuz made uv the bones uv