ey wood hev Johnson President or King, and while musin I fell in2 the
arms uv Morfus. My mind bust loose from the body and sored. Ez I sunk to
slumber, the narrow room, wich is at wunst my offis and dormitory,
widened and enlarged, the humble chairs become suddenly upholstered in
gorgus style, the taller dip become multiplied into thousands uv gorgus
chandileers, the portraits uv His Highness the President, and the other
Democrats on the wall, became alive. I comprehended the situation to
wunst. ANDROO JOHNSON had cut the Gorjan knot with someboddy's sword,
and hed carried out his Policy to its nateral concloosion. He was King,
and wuz reignin under the title uv ANDROO THE I., and I wuz (in my dreem
uv course) in his kingly halls.

It wuz, methawt, a reception nite. His High Mightiness wuz a sittin onto
a elevated throne, covered with red velvet, and studded with diamonds,
and pearls, and onyxs, and other precious stones--onto his head wuz a
crown, and he wuz enveloped into a robe uv black velvet, his nose and
the balance uv his face gleaming out like a flash uv litenin from a
thunder cloud. Lyin prostrate at the foot uv the throne, doin the offis
uv a footstool, wuz Charles Sumner, wunst Senator, wich wuz typikle uv
the complete triumph we hed won over our enemies; while doin other
menial offices about the halls, wuz Wade, Wilson, Fessenden, Sherman,
and others who hed opposed the change from a Republic to a Kingdom. They
wuz clothed in a approprit costoom, knee breeches and sich, and
presented a pekoolyerly imposin appearance.

Carriages containing the nobility began to arrive, and ez they entered,
the Grand High Lord Chamberlin uv the Palis, the Markis von Randall,
announct em. "Dook de Davis!" was ejackelatid, and Jeffson entered.
"Earl von Toombs," "Sir Joseph E. Johnston," "Markis de Bouregard,"
"Count de Pollard," and so forth.

Noticin that the titles I hed heerd wuz mostly tacked to Southern men, I
asked Giddy Welles, who wuz standin by, why it wuz thus, and he sed that
Northners wuzn't reely fit for it. We wuz, he said, a low, grovlin race,
and coodent adapt ourselves to the habits uv nobility. The South wuz
shivelrus, and cood do it. They wuz given to tournaments and sich--they
hed got accustomed to cirkus clothes, and cood wear a sword without its
gettin awkwardly between the legs. Northern men, sich ez were faithful,
wuz allowed to barsk in the smiles uv royalty, but it wuz in sich
positions ez sooted the