esident wuz gloomy. He hedn't anticipated the defeat. He spected
that, hevin showd hisself through all the Northern States, ther ought to
hev ben enthoosiasm enough evolved to hev carried em without trouble.
The fault, he remarked, coodent be with his policy. Ther wuz suthin so
grand, so sublimely simple in it, that it wuz incomprehensible to him
why the people hedn't at once adopted it. "Why, look at it," sed he. "I
offer the people uv the North peace, on the simple condishn uv sayin
nothin more about the war, or the mutual trouble which they found
theirselves into, and rushin into the arms uv their Southern brethren,
and takin uv em back jist ez they went out. How, O! how cood they be so
blind ez to refoose these olive branches?"

Randall replied that he coodent understand it; but he hed summoned a
Postmaster to attend, wich he hed appinted on his solemn asshoorance
that he cood carry enough Republicans over to our new party to defeat
the Union member in that District, wich he notist by the papers wuz
elected by a larger majority than he hed ever reseeved, and he wuz in
waitin.

"Bring in the wretch!" shouted the President; and the guard brung him
in. A mizable lookin objick he wuz. Ez soon ez he saw the stern eye uv
the President fixed on him, he sunk to his knees, and lifted up his
hands implorinly, without sayin a word.

"Speak!" sed the President. "Why the result in yoor Deestrict?"

"My liege," replied the wretched man, "I know not. Faithfully I labored;
but the people wood come into the house holdin their noses, and set a
holdin uv em so long ez I wuz speekin, wich wuzn't conducive to displays
of oratory. The papers wood publish my own utterances six months before,
wich confused me somewhat; and the ablishnists would read at me yoor
speeches, wich I coodent akkount for. I seekoored for yoo suthin like a
dozen votes; but they wuz them ez stipulated for places under me, and I
hed hard work to git em from the Union party, and they wuz sich ez did
us more harm than good. And besides--"

"Enuff!" sed Johnson, "Remove him."

And the poor fellow wuz bundled out.

Secretary Welles knowd wat wuz the matter. It come uv takin Grant and
Farrygut along on the excursion. It distracted the attention uv the
people. Hed there bin nobody but the President and the Cabinet along,
there woodent hev bin nobody to hurrah for, and the sublime trooths,
wieh the President kin only jerk, wood hev impressed the people more
than the