ion uv 36
States, and the stars thereto appertaining. Ef he wuz a Joodis Iskariot
who wuz--

The crowd gave three hearty cheers for Grant ez the train moved off, to
wich the President responded by wavin his hat.

KALAMAZOO.--The offishels were on hand at this pint, and so wuz the
people--4 offishels and several thousand people, which the latter
greeted us with cheers for Grant! Grant! The President responded, sayin,
that in swingin around the cirkle, he hed bin called Joodis Iskariot for
sacrificin uv hisself for the people! Who wuz the Saviour? Wuz Thad
Stevens? No! Then cleerly into yoor hands I leave the Constitution uv 36
stars with 36 States onto em, intact and undissevered.

The offishels received the stars and States, and amid cheers for Grant,
for which the President thanked em, the train glode off magestically.

And so on to Chicago, where we didn't get off our speech, though from
the manner in wich the people hollered Grant! Grant! we felt cheered at
realizin how much they wuz with us. His eminence wanted to sling the 36
States and the flag with the stars at em, but ez General Logan wuz
there, ready to fling em back, it wuz deemed highly prudent not to do
it.

Here my trials commenst. At the Biddle House, in Detroit, the nigger
waiters showed how much a African kin be spiled by bein free. _They hed
the impudence to refoose to wait on us_, and for a half hour the
imperial stumick wuz forced to fast. This alarmin manifestation uv negro
malignancy alarmed His Eggsalency. "Thank God!" sed he, "that I vetoed
the Freedmen's Buroo Bill. I hev bin Alderman uv my native town--I hev
swung around the entire cirkle, but this I never dreemed uv. What would
they do if they hed their rites?" The insident made an impression onto
him, and at Chicago he resolved to trust em no longer. He ordered his
meals to his room, and sent for me. "My friend," sed he, "taste
evrything onto this table."

"Why? my liege," sed I.

"Niggers is cooks," sed he, "and this food may be pizoned. They hate me,
for I ain't in the Moses bizness. Taste, my friend."

"But spozn," sed I, "that it _shood_ be pizoned? Wat uv _my_ bowels? My
stomick is uv ez much valyoo to me ez yourn is to yoo."

"Nasby," sez he, "taste! Ef yoo die, who mourns? Ef I die, who'd swing
around the cirkle? Who'd sling the flag and the 36 stars at the people,
and who'd leave the Constooshn in their hands? The country demands the
sacrifice; and besides, ef yoo don't, off