naries?
To Bonn or Wiesbaden? My doctor laconic
Declares that the Teutonic air is too tonic.
Shall I do Davos-Platz or go rove the Riviera?
Or moon for a month in romantic Madeira?
St. Moritz or Malaga, Aix, La Bourboule?
Bah! My doctor's a _farceur_ and I am--a fool.
I will _not_ try Switzerland, Norway, or Rome.
I'll go in for a rest and a rubber--at home.
A Windermere wander, _and_ Whist, I feel sure,
Will give what I'm seeking, a true "Perfect Cure."

* * * * *

A BUBBLE FROM THE SUDS.--A Firm of Soap-boilers have been sending
round a circular to "Dramatic Authors" of established reputation, and
(no doubt) others, offering to produce gratis the best piece submitted
to them at a "_Matinee_ performance at a West End Theatre." The only
formality necessary to obtain this sweet boon is the purchase of a box
of the Firm's soap, which will further contain a coupon "entitling
the owner to send in one new and original play for reading." The idea
that a Dramatic Author of any standing would submit his work to such a
tribunal, even with the dazzling prospect of a _Matinee in futuro_, is
too refreshing! However, as literary men nowadays fully appreciate the
value of their labour, the idea, in spite of the soap with which it is
associated, may be dismissed with the words, "Won't Wash!"

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

Why doesn't some publisher bring out _The Utterbosh Series_, for, upon
my word, says the Baron, the greater part of the books sent in for
"notice" are simply beneath it. Here's one on which I made notes as
I went on, as far as I could get through it. It is called _Nemesis:
a Moral Story_, by SETON CREWE. Its sole merit would have been its
being in one volume, were it not that this form, being a bait to the
unwary, aggravates the offence. The heroine is _Lucinda_, a milliner's
apprentice. Being compromised by a young gentleman under age, who
suddenly quits the country, she goes to confess her sin to the
simple-minded Curate, who sees no way out of the difficulty except
by marrying his penitent, which he does, and after the christening
of her first-born, a joyous event that occurs at no great interval
after the happy wedding-day, the Curate, the _Reverend Mr. Smith_,
is transferred by his Bishop from this parish to somewhere else a
considerable distance off, whence, after a variety of troubles, he
goes abroad as a travelling wa