sh wooden porch (which can be kept
from falling to pieces quite easily by hammering a few nails in now
and then, and re-painting once a week), and no end of gables, which
only let the water into the bedrooms in case of a _very_ heavy shower.
Then think of the delights of a garden, and a field (for which I pay
L20 a year, and repair the hedges), and chickens! I don't think I have
spent more than L50 above what I should have done in London, owing to
the necessity of fitting up chicken-runs and buying a conservatory
for my wife, who is passionately fond of flowers. Unfortunately my
chickens are now moulting, and decline to lay again before next March;
so I bring back fresh eggs from town, and, as my conservatory is
not yet full, flowers from Covent Garden; and I can assure you that,
until you try it, you cannot tell the amount of pleasure and exercise
which walking a couple of miles (the distance of my cottage from the
station), laden with groceries and other eatables, can be made to
afford. Yours chirpily,

FIELD-FARE.

* * * * *

GOOD FOR SPORT!--A well-known chartered accountant, with a vulpine
patronymic, complains of the unkind treatment he recently received in
Cologne at the hands of the German police. He should be consoled
by the thought, that his persecution marked in those latitudes the
introduction of Fox-hunting.

* * * * *

[Illustration: YANKEE EXCLUSIVENESS.

_Young Britisher_. "YOUR FATHER'S NOT WITH YOU THEN, MISS VAN TROMP?"

_Fair New York Millionnairess_ (_one of three_). "WHY, NO--PA'S MUCH
TOO VULGAR! IT'S AS MUCH AS WE CAN DO TO STAND MA!"]

* * * * *

THE QUICKSAND!

Is this the Eagle-hunter,
The valiant fate-confronter,
The soldier brave, and blunter
Of speech than BISMARCK's self?
This bungler all-disgracing,
This braggart all-debasing.
This spurious sportsman, chasing
No nobler prey than pelf?

The merest "fly in amber,"
_He_ after eagles clamber?
Nay, faction's ante-chamber
Were fitter place for him,
A trifler transitory,
To gasconade of "glory"!
He'd foul fair France's story,
Her lustre pale and dim.

_Les Coulisses?_ Ah, precisely!
They suit his nature nicely,
Who bravely, nobly, wisely,
Can hardly even "act."
_Histrio_ all _blague_ and blather,
Is it not pity, rather,
One Frenchman should foregather
With him in self