I remember. That's your department, not mine. Just let me forget
about it."

"You'd better," said Berg.

* * * * *

In the month after his return, Lancaster lived much as usual. He was
scolded a few times for an increasing absent-mindedness and a lack of
enthusiasm on the Project, but that wasn't too serious. He became more
of an introvert than ever. Having some difficulty with getting to sleep,
he resorted to soporifics and then, in a savage reaction, to stimulants.
But outwardly there was little to show the turmoil within him.

He didn't know what to think. He had always been a loyal citizen--not a
fanatic, but loyal--and it wasn't easy for him to question his own basic
assumptions. But he had experienced something utterly alien to what he
considered normal, and he had found the strangeness more congenial--more
human in every way--than the norm. He had breathed a different
atmosphere, and it couldn't but seem to him that the air of Earth was
tainted. He re-read Kipling's _Chant-Pagan_ with a new understanding,
and began to search into neglected philosophies. He studied the news in
detail, and his critical eye soon grew jaundiced--did this editorial or
that feature story have any semantic content at all, or was it only a
tom-tom beat of loaded connotations? The very statements of fact were
subject to doubt--they should be checked against other accounts, or
better yet against direct observation; but other accounts were forbidden
and there was no chance to see for himself.

He took to reading seditious pamphlets with some care, and listened to a
number of underground broadcasts, and tried clumsily to sound out those
of his acquaintances whom he suspected of rebellious thoughts. It all
had to be done very cautiously, with occasional nightmare moments when
he thought he was being spied on; and was it right that a man should be
afraid to hear a dissenting opinion?

He wondered what his son was doing. It occurred to him that modern
education existed largely to stultify independent thought.

At the same time, he was unable to discard the beliefs of his whole
life. Sedition was sedition and treason was treason--you couldn't evade
that fact. There were no more wars--plenty of minor clashes, but no real
wars. There was a stable economy, and nobody lacked for the essentials.
The universal state might be a poor solution to the problems of a time
of troubles, but it was nevertheless a solution