time half crazy with
wrath, and hit the hat with his stick. It did not move. Then he struck
it again and caved in the crown, but it still remained on Mix's head.
Then he picked up a volume of Brown _On Evidence_, and mashed the
crown in flat. Then Mix sprang at him; and shaking his fist under the
nose of Jones, he shrieked,

"You miserable scullion, I've half a notion to kill you! If that
jackass on the bench had any sense, he could see that the hat is glued
fast. I can't take it off if I wanted to, and I wouldn't take it off
now if I could."

[Illustration: A COURT SCENE]

Then the judge removed the fines and excused him, and Mix went home.
He slept in his hat for a week; and even when it came off, the top of
his head looked as black as if mortification had set in.

But if the judge is too particular, our sheriff is hardly careful
enough. The manner in which he permits our jail to be conducted always
seemed to me interesting and original.

One day I wanted to hire a man to wheel half a dozen loads of rubbish
out of my garden, and after looking around a while I found a seedy
chap sitting on the end of a wharf fishing. When I asked him if he
would attend to the job, he replied thus:

"I really can't. I'm sorry; but the fact is I'm in jail for six months
for larceny--sentenced last December. I don't mind it much, only they
don't act honest with me up at the jail. The first week I was there
Mrs. Murphy--she's the keeper's wife--wanted to clean up, and so she
turned me out, and I had to hang round homeless for more'n a week.
Then, just as I was getting settled agin comfortably, the provisions
ran short, and Murphy tried to borrow money of me to feed the
convicts; and as I had none to lend, out I had to go agin. In about
two weeks I started in fresh and got everything snug and cheerful,
when Murphy's aunt stepped out. Then what does that ass do but put me
out agin and lock up the jail and put crape on the door, while he went
off to the funeral.

"So, of course, I had to browse around, huntin' up meals where I could
get them, sometimes nibblin' somethin' at the tavern and other times
takin' tea with a friend. Well, sir, hardly was that old woman buried,
and me once more in the cell with the home-like feelin' beginnin' to
creep over me, but Murphy, he says he and his wife's got to go up
to the city to get a hired girl; and when I refused to quit, Murphy
grabbed me by the collar and pushed me into the street, and said