e:

"You know we nominated Bill Slocum for burgess. He was the most
popular man in the place; everybody liked him. And a few days after
the convention adjourned Bill was standing talking to Joe Snowden
about the election, and Bill happened to remark, 'I've got to win.'
Mrs. Martin was going by at the time; and as Bill was speaking very
rapidly, he pronounced it like this: 'I've got t'win;' and Mrs. Martin
thought he was telling Snowden that he'd got _twins_. And Mrs. Martin,
just like all women about such matters, at once went through the
village spreading the report that Mrs. Slocum had twins.

"So, of course, there was a fuss right off; and the boys said that as
Bill was a candidate, and a mighty good fellow anyhow you took him,
it'd be nothing more than fair to congratulate him on his good luck
by getting up some kind of a public demonstration from his
fellow-citizens. Well, sir, you never saw such enthusiasm. The way
that idea took was wonderful, and all hands agreed that we ought
to have a parade. So they ran up the flags on the hotels and the
town-hall, and on the two schooners down at the wharf, and Judge
Twiddler adjourned the court over till the next day, and the
supervisors gave the public schools a holiday and got up a turkey
dinner for the convicts in the jail.

"And some of the folks drummed up the brass band, and it led off, with
Major Slott following, carrying an American flag hung with roses. Then
came the clergy in carriages, followed by the Masons and Odd Fellows
and Knights of Pythias. And the Young Men's Christian Association
turned out with the Sons of Temperance, about forty strong, in full
regalia. And General Trumps pranced along on a white horse ahead of
the Millburg Guards. After them came the judges on foot, followed by
the City Council and the employes of the gas-works, and the members of
the Bible Society and Patriotic Sons of America. Then came citizens
walking two and two, afoot, while a big crowd of men and boys brought
up the rear.

"The band, mind you, all this time playing the most gorgeous
music--'Star-Spangled Banner,' 'Life on the Ocean Wave,' 'Beautiful
Dreamer,' 'Home Again,' and all those things, with cymbals and
Jenkins' colored man spreading himself on the big drum. And Bill never
knew anything about it. It was a perfect surprise to him. And when the
procession stopped in front of his house, they gave him three cheers,
and he came rushing out on the porch to see what all t