MRS KNOX. This is a strange time. I was never one to talk about the end
of the world; but look at the things that have happened!

KNOX. Earthquakes!

GILBEY. San Francisco!

MRS GILBEY. Jamaica!

KNOX. Martinique!

GILBEY. Messina!

MRS GILBEY. The plague in China!

MRS KNOX. The floods in France!

GILBEY. My Bobby in Wormwood Scrubbs!

KNOX. Margaret in Holloway!

GILBEY. And now my footman tells me his brother's a duke!

KNOX. | No!
|
MRS KNOX. | Whats that?

GILBEY. Just before he let you in. A duke! Here has everything been
respectable from the beginning of the world, as you may say, to the
present day; and all of a sudden everything is turned upside down.

MRS KNOX. It's like in the book of Revelations. But I do say that unless
people have happiness within themselves, all the earthquakes, all the
floods, and all the prisons in the world cant make them really happy.

KNOX. It isnt alone the curious things that are happening, but the
unnatural way people are taking them. Why, theres Margaret been in
prison, and she hasnt time to go to all the invitations shes had from
people that never asked her before.

GILBEY. I never knew we could live without being respectable.

MRS GILBEY. Oh, Rob, what a thing to say! Who says we're not
respectable?

GILBEY. Well, it's not what I call respectable to have your children in
and out of gaol.

KNOX. Oh come, Gilbey! we're not tramps because weve had, as it were, an
accident.

GILBEY. It's no use, Knox: look it in the face. Did I ever tell you my
father drank?

KNOX. No. But I knew it. Simmons told me.

GILBEY. Yes: he never could keep his mouth quiet: he told me your aunt
was a kleptomaniac.

MRS KNOX. It wasnt true, Mr Gilbey. She used to pick up handkerchiefs if
she saw them lying about; but you might trust her with untold silver.

GILBEY. My Uncle Phil was a teetotaller. My father used to say to me:
Rob, he says, dont you ever have a weakness. If you find one getting a
hold on you, make a merit of it, he says. Your Uncle Phil doesnt like
spirits; and he makes a merit of it, and is chairman of the Blue Ribbon
Committee. I do like spirits; and I make a merit of it, and I'm the King
Cockatoo of the Convivial Cockatoos. Never put yourself in the wrong, he
says. I used to boast about what a good boy Bobby was. Now I swank about
what a dog he is; and it pleases people just as well. What a world it
is!

KNOX. It turned my blood