ain
for all the pain I am suffering? Do you not perceive now that the help
you give me has no other effect than that of lengthening my suffering?"
Shortly afterwards he fainted, and we all thought him gone; but by the
application of vinegar and wine he rallied. But he soon sank, and when
he heard us in lamentation, he murmured, "O God! who is it that teases
me so? Why did you break the agreeable repose I was enjoying? I beg of
you to leave me." And then, when he caught the sound of my voice, he
continued: "And art thou, my brother, likewise unwilling to see me at
peace? O, how thou robbest me of my repose!" After a while, he seemed
to gain more strength, and called for wine, which he relished, and
declared it to be the finest drink possible. I, in order to change the
current of his thoughts, put in, "Surely not; water is the best." "Ah,
yes," he returned, "doubtless so;--(Greek phrase)--." He had now become,
icy-cold at his extremities, even to his face; a deathly perspiration was
upon him, and his pulse was scarcely perceptible.
This morning he confessed, but the priest had omitted to bring with him
the necessary apparatus for celebrating Mass. On the Tuesday, however,
M. de la Boetie summoned him to aid him, as he said, in discharging the
last office of a Christian. After the conclusion of Mass, he took the
sacrament; when the priest was about to depart, he said to him:
"Spiritual father, I implore you humbly, as well as those over whom you
are set, to pray to the Almighty on my behalf; that, if it be decreed in
heaven that I am now to end my life, He will take compassion on my soul,
and pardon me my sins, which are manifold, it not being possible for so
weak and poor a creature as I to obey completely the will of such a
Master; or, if He think fit to keep me longer here, that it may please
Him to release my present extreme anguish, and to direct my footsteps in
the right path, that I may become a better man than I have been." He
paused to recover breath a little; priest was about to go away, he called
him back and proceeded: "I desire to say, besides, in your hearing this:
I declare that I was christened and I have lived, and that so I wish to
die, in the faith which Moses preached in Egypt; which afterwards the
Patriarchs accepted and professed in Judaea; and which, in the course of
time, has been transmitted to France and to us." He seemed desirous of
adding something more, but he ended with a req
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