The Project Gutenberg EBook of New Burlesques, by Bret Harte

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Title: New Burlesques

Author: Bret Harte

Posting Date: October 28, 2008 [EBook #2278]
Release Date: August, 2000

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NEW BURLESQUES ***

NEW BURLESQUES

by

Bret Harte

CONTENTS

RUPERT THE RESEMBLER [After Rupert of Hentzau and Prisoner of Zenda]

THE STOLEN CIGAR CASE By A. CO--N D--LE

GOLLY AND THE CHRISTIAN, OR THE MINX AND THE MANXMAN By H-LL C--NE

THE ADVENTURES OF JOHN LONGBOWE, YEOMAN
BEING A MODERN-ANTIQUE REALISTIC ROMANCE
(COMPILED FROM SEVERAL EMINENT SOURCES)

DAN'L BOREM BY E. N---S W--T---T

STORIES THREE BY R-DY--D K-PL--G

"ZUT-SKI" THE PROBLEM OF A WICKED FEME SOLE BY M-R-E C-R-LLI

RUPERT THE RESEMBLER

By A--TH--Y H-PE

CHAPTER I

RUDOLPH OF TRULYRURALANIA

When I state that I was own brother to Lord Burleydon, had an income of
two thousand a year, could speak all the polite languages fluently, was
a powerful swordsman, a good shot, and could ride anything from an
elephant to a clotheshorse, I really think I have said enough to
satisfy any feminine novel-reader of Bayswater or South Kensington that
I was a hero. My brother's wife, however, did not seem to incline to
this belief.

"A more conceited, self-satisfied little cad I never met than you," she
said. "Why don't you try to do something instead of sneering at others
who do? You never take anything seriously--except yourself, which
isn't worth it. You are proud of your red hair and peaked nose just
because you fondly believe that you got them from the Prince of
Trulyruralania, and are willing to think evil of your ancestress to
satisfy your snobbish little soul. Let me tell you, sir, that there
was no more truth about that than there was in that silly talk of her
partiality for her husband's red-haired gamekeeper in Scotland. Ah!
that makes you start--don't it? But I have always observed that a mule
is apt to remember only the horse side of his ancestry!"

Whenever my pretty sister-in-law talks in this way I always try to
forget that she