absolutely apropos of nothing: "Count, I
have a deep aversion to you!" It isn't as if he said such things simply,
but they are extremely pointed. His voice trembles, his eyes flash, his
veins swell. Confound his infernal honesty! Supposing I am disgusting
and odious to him? What is more natural? I know that I am, but I don't
like to be told so to my face. I am a worthless old man, but he might
have the decency to respect my grey hairs. Oh, what stupid, heartless
honesty!

LEBEDIEFF. Come, come, you have been young yourself, and should make
allowances for him.

SHABELSKI. Yes, I have been young and reckless; I have played the fool
in my day and have seen plenty of knaves and scamps, but I have never
called a thief a thief to his face, or talked of ropes in the house of a
man who had been hung. I knew how to behave, but this idiotic doctor
of yours would think himself in the seventh heaven of happiness if fate
would allow him to pull my nose in public in the name of morality and
human ideals.

LEBEDIEFF. Young men are all stubborn and restive. I had an uncle once
who thought himself a philosopher. He would fill his house with guests,
and after he had had a drink he would get up on a chair, like this, and
begin: "You ignoramuses! You powers of darkness! This is the dawn of a
new life!" And so on and so on; he would preach and preach----

SASHA. And the guests?

LEBEDIEFF. They would just sit and listen and go on drinking. Once,
though, I challenged him to a duel, challenged my own uncle! It came
out of a discussion about Sir Francis Bacon. I was sitting, I remember,
where Matthew is, and my uncle and the late Gerasim Nilitch were
standing over there, about where Nicholas is now. Well, Gerasim Nilitch
propounded this question----

Enter BORKIN. He is dressed like a dandy and carries a parcel under his
arm. He comes in singing and skipping through the door on the right. A
murmur of approval is heard.

THE GIRLS. Oh, Michael Borkin!

LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Misha!

SHABELSKI. The soul of the company!

BORKIN. Here we are! [He runs up to SASHA] Most noble Signorina, let
me be so bold as to wish to the whole world many happy returns of the
birthday of such an exquisite flower as you! As a token of my enthusiasm
let me presume to present you with these fireworks and this Bengal fire
of my own manufacture. [He hands her the parcel] May they illuminate the
night as brightly as you illuminate the shadows of this dark world.