It is at
any rate nonsense to me. He wants me to go somewhere and fight a
duel,--which I should not do with any man under any circumstances.
Here there is no possible ground for any quarrel whatsoever,--as
I will endeavour to explain, myself, to my friend, Mr. Tringle. I
shall be sure to write to him at once,--and so I will bid you good
afternoon."

But this did not at all suit poor Faddle after so long a journey.
"I thought it probable that you would write, Colonel Stubbs, and
therefore I am prepared to wait. If I cannot be accommodated here I
will wait,--will wait elsewhere."

"That will not be at all necessary. We have a post to London twice a
day."

"You must be aware, Colonel Stubbs, that letters of this sort should
not be sent by post."

"The kind of letter I shall write may be sent by post very well. It
will not be bellicose, and therefore there can be no objection."

"I really think, Colonel Stubbs, that you are making very little of a
very serious matter."

"Mr. Faddle, I really must manage my own affairs after my own way.
Would you like a glass of sherry? If not, I need hardly ask you to
stay here any longer." Upon that he went out into the billiard-room
and rang the bell. Poor Faddle would have liked the glass of sherry,
but he felt that it would be incompatible with the angry dignity
which he assumed, and he left the house without another word or even
a gesture of courtesy. Then he returned to London, having taken his
bag and dress coat all the way to Stalham for nothing.

Tom's letter was almost too good to be lost, but there was no one to
whom the joke could be made known except Lady Albury. She, he was
sure, would keep poor Tom's secret as well as his own, and to her he
showed the letter. "I pity him from the bottom of my heart," he said.
Lady Albury declared that the writer of such a letter was too absurd
for pity. "Not at all. Unless he really loved her he wouldn't have
been so enraged. I suppose he does think that I injured him. He did
tell me his story, and I didn't tell him mine. I can understand it
all, though I didn't imagine he was such a fool as to invite me
to travel all round the world because of the harsh laws of Great
Britain. Nevertheless, I shall write to him quite an affectionate
letter, remembering that, should I succeed myself, he will be my
first cousin by marriage."

Before he went to bed that night he wrote his letter, and the reader
may as well see the whole corresponden