how these French
waiters, wid their paper collars and brass rings on their fingers,
isn 't company for no gurril brought up dacint and honest.

Och! sorra a bit I knew what was comin' till the missus walked into me
kitchen smilin', and says kind o' shcared: "Here 's Fing Wing, Kitty,
an' you 'll have too much sinse to mind his bein' a little strange."

Wid that she shoots the door, and I, misthrusting if I was tidied up
sufficient for me fine buy wid his paper collar, looks up, and--Howly
fathers! may I niver brathe another breath, but there stud a rale
haythen Chineser a grinnin' like he'd just come off a tay-box. If
you'll belave me, the crayture was that yeller it ud sicken you to
see him; and sorra stitch was on him but a black nightgown over his
trousers, and the front of his head shaved claner nor a copper biler,
and a black tail a-hangin' down from behind, wid his two feet stook
into the heathenestest shoes you ever set eyes on.

Och! but I was up stairs afore you could turn about, a givin' the
missus warnin', an' only stopt wid her by her raisin' me wages two
dollars, and playdin' wid me how it was a Christian's duty to bear wid
haythins and taitch 'em all in our power,--the saints have us!

Well, the ways and trials I had wid that Chineser, Ann Ryan, I
couldn't be tellin'. Not a blissed thing cud I do but he'd be lookin'
on wid his eyes cocked up'ard like two poomp-handles, an' he widdout
a speck or smitch o' whiskers on him, an' his finger-nails full a yard
long. But it 's dyin' you'd be to see the missus a' larnin' him, and
he grinnin' an' waggin' his pig-tail (which was pieced out long
wid some black stoof, the haythen chate), and gettin' into her
ways wonderful quick, I don't deny, imitatin' that sharp you'd be
shurprised, and ketchin' an' copyin' things the best of us will do
a-hurried wid work, yet don't want comin' to the knowledge of the
family,--bad luck to him!

Is it ate wid him? Arrah, an' would I be sittin' wid a haythen an' he
a-atin' wid drum-sticks,--yes, an' atin' dogs an' cats unknownst to
me, I warrant you, which it is the custom of them Chinesers, till
the thought made me that sick I could die. An' did n't the crayture
proffer to help me a wake ago come Toosday, an' me a foldin' down me
clane clothes for the ironin', an' fill his haythin mouth wid water,
an' afore I could hinder squirrit it through his teeth stret over the
best linen table-cloth, and fold it up tight, as innercent now