tage's lecture
at Merton begins at eleven o'clock. May I ask why you have decided not
to attend his lecture this morning?" and he screwed his mouth up until
it seemed to disappear.

His question was difficult to answer, because I could not tell him that
Murray and I had decided that Mr. Armitage lectured very badly, and
that I had expressed my intention of cutting his lectures whenever I
felt inclined. So I said that I had forgotten Mr. Armitage's lecture,
which happened to be the truth.

"I am afraid, Mr. Marten, that you take a very light view of your
responsibilities," he said. "It is unusual, I imagine, for an
exhibitioner of a college to interview the proctor as soon as you have
done; the college authorities naturally expect their scholars and
exhibitioners to obey the rules of the University, and they also expect
them to apply themselves earnestly to their studies. At the present
moment I am unable to consider that you have realized either of these
expectations."

"Well, sir, they are early days yet," I said with a smile, for I
thought it was best to take a cheery view of the situation.

"This is no jest," he replied, and his teeth snapped together very
disagreeably.

"I did not mistake it for one," I said, and I wanted to be amicable;
"but being without cap and gown last night is not a very awful offence,
is it? The proctors would have a very dull time if they did not catch
men sometimes."

I cannot imagine why I made that last remark, except that he had fixed
his little eyes upon me when I began and it seemed to be dragged out of
me.

"I do not think that you need trouble yourself about the duties of the
proctors, Mr. Marten. Good-morning, and please remember what I have
said to you."

I left his room smiling, and I am sure he thought I was laughing at
him; but what really amused me was being called "Mr. Marten," for I had
not grown accustomed to my prefix and the sound of it was most comical
to me. I am afraid my taste for jokes was very different from that of
my tutor.

When I came away from Mr. Edwardes I stood in the front quadrangle and
whistled. My whistle is unmusical and penetrative, useful only when a
dog has been lost, and some man, whom I did not know, put his head out
of his window and said abruptly, "For heaven's sake shut up that vile
noise;" another man chucked a penny into the quad and told me he should
send something heavier if I did not stop. The front quad was obviously