m that
almost the skinniest human being I ever knew had been one of the largest
eaters. I was speaking now of John Wesley Bass, the champion raw-egg eater
of Massac Precinct, whose triumphant career knew not pause or discomfiture
until one day at the McCracken County fair when suddenly tragedy dire
impended.

He did not overextend himself in the gustatory line--that to one of John
Wesley Bass' natural gifts and attainments well-nigh would have been
impossible; but he betrayed a lack of caution when, having broken his
former record by eating thirty-six raw eggs at a sitting, he climbed upon
a steam merry-go-round, shortly thereafter falling off the spotted wooden
giraffe which he rode, and being removed to the city hospital in an
unconscious condition.

That night later when the crisis had passed the doctors said that as
nearly as they could figure out a case so unusual, Mr. Bass had had a
very close call from being just naturally scrambled to death. I spoke at
length of my former fellow townsman's powers, dwelling heavily upon the
fact that, despite all, he never thickened up at the waistline. Throughout
the narrative, however, the doctor punctuated my periods with derisive
snorts which were disconcerting to an orderly presentation of the facts.
Nevertheless, I continued until I had reached what I regarded as a telling
climax.

"Piffle!" he rejoined. "One hoarse raucous piffle and three sharp decisive
puffs for your arguments! I tell you that what ails you is this: You are
now registering, the preliminary warnings of obesity. The danger is not
actually here yet; but for you Nature already has set the danger signals.
There's a red light on the switch for one I. Cobb. You are due before a
great while for a head-end collision with your own health. You can take my
advice or you can let it alone. That's entirely up to you. Only don't
blame me if you come back here some day all telescoped up amidships.

"And please don't consume time which is reasonably valuable to me, however
lightly you may regard it, by telling me now about slim men who eat more
than you do and yet keep their figures. The woods are full of them; also
the owl wagons. The difference between such men as those you have
described and such men as you is that they were made to be thin men and to
keep on being thin men regardless of their food consumption, and that your
sort are naturally predisposed to fatness. You can't judge their cases by
yours any more th