e in commemoration of his services to mankind we derive the verb
intransitive "to bant," had theories wherein his chief contemporaneous
German rival, Epstein the Bavarian, radically disagreed with him. Voit,
coming along subsequently, disagreed in important details with both. Among
the moderns I discerned where Dr. Woods Hutchinson had his pet ideas and
Doctor Wiley had his, diametrically opposed. So it went. There was almost
as much of disputation here as there is when a federation of women's
clubs is holding an annual election. It was all so very confusing to one
aiming to do the right thing.

One learned savant flatly laid down the ultimatum that the individual
seeking to reduce should cut out all pork products from chitterings clear
through the list to headcheese and give his undivided support to the red
meats and the white. One of his brethren was equally positive that I might
partake of bacon and even ham in moderation, but urged that I walk around
red meat as though it were a pesthouse. Yet a third--a foe, plainly, to
the butcher, but a well-wisher to the hay-and-produce dealer if ever one
lived--recommended that I should eliminate all meat of whatsoever
character or color and stick closely to fodder, roughage and processed
ensilage. I judge he sent his more desperate cases to a livery stable.

According to one dictum, bread was all right up to a certain point, and,
according to another, all wrong. This man here held a brief for beans,
especially the succulent baked bean; that man yonder served solemn warning
upon me that if perversely I persisted to continue to eat baked beans the
fat globules would form so fast I would have the sensation that a little
boy was inside of me somewhere blowing bubbles. The writer didn't exactly
say this, but it was the inference I drew from his remarks.

Eat dried fruits until your seams give, said Doctor A. Avoid dried fruits
as you would the plague, counseled the equally eminent Doctor B. Professor
C considered the drinking of water with meals highly inadvisable; whereas
Professor D said that without adding an extra ounce of weight I might
consume water until my fluid contents sloshed up and down in me when I
walked, and merely by getting a young lady in Oriental costume to stand
alongside me I might qualify at a Sunday-school entertainment for the
entire supporting cast of the familiar tableau entitled Rebecca at the
Well. He intimated that just so I stopped short of committing