een paddlin'?" he inquired

"I see you going down the road in 'em," said the unabashed Mr. Foley,
"and I says to myself, I says, 'Pride'll bear a pinch, but she's going
too far. If she thinks that she can squeedge those little tootsywootsies
of 'ers into them boo--'"

The door slammed violently and left him exchanging grins with Mr. Jobson.

"How's the 'at?" he inquired.

Mr. Jobson winked. "Bet you a level 'arf-dollar I ain't wearing it next
Sunday," he said, in a hoarse whisper.

Mr. Foley edged away.

"Not good enough," he said, shaking his head. "I've had a good many bets
with you first and last, Alf, but I can't remember as I ever won one yet.
So long."

FRIENDS IN NEED

R. Joseph Gibbs finished his half-pint in the private bar of the Red Lion
with the slowness of a man unable to see where the next was coming from,
and, placing the mug on the counter, filled his pipe from a small paper
of tobacco and shook his head slowly at his companions.

"First I've 'ad since ten o'clock this morning," he said, in a hard
voice.

"Cheer up," said Mr. George Brown.

"It can't go on for ever," said Bob Kidd, encouragingly.

"All I ask for--is work," said Mr. Gibbs, impressively. "Not slavery,
mind yer, but work."

"It's rather difficult to distinguish," said Mr. Brown.

"'Specially for some people," added Mr. Kidd.

"Go on," said Mr. Gibbs, gloomily. "Go on. Stand a man 'arf a pint, and
then go and hurt 'is feelings. Twice yesterday I wondered to myself what
it would feel like to make a hole in the water."

"Lots o' chaps do do it," said Mr. Brown, musingly.

"And leave their wives and families to starve," said Mr. Gibbs, icily.

"Very often the wife is better off," said his friend. "It's one mouth
less for her to feed. Besides, she gen'rally gets something. When pore
old Bill went they 'ad a Friendly Lead at the 'King's Head' and got his
missis pretty nearly seventeen pounds."

"And I believe we'd get more than that for your old woman," said Mr.
Kidd. "There's no kids, and she could keep 'erself easy. Not that I
want to encourage you to make away with yourself."

Mr. Gibbs scowled and, tilting his mug, peered gloomily into the
interior.

"Joe won't make no 'ole in the water," said Mr. Brown, wagging his head.
"If it was beer, now--"

Mr. Gibbs turned and, drawing himself up to five feet three, surveyed the
speaker with an offensive stare.

"I don't see why he need make a