r of a ketch called the _Lizzie and Annie,_ trading between
'ere and Shoremouth. 'Artful Jack' he used to be called, and if ever a
man deserved the name, he did. A widder-man of about fifty, and as silly
as a boy of fifteen. He 'ad been talking of getting married agin for
over ten years, and, thinking it was only talk, I didn't give 'im any
good advice. Then he told me one night that 'e was keeping company with
a woman named Lamb, who lived at a place near Shoremouth. When I asked
'im what she looked like, he said that she had a good 'art, and, knowing
wot that meant, I wasn't at all surprised when he told me some time arter
that 'e had been a silly fool.

"'Well, if she's got a good 'art,' I ses, 'p'r'aps she'll let you go.'

"'Talk sense,' he ses. 'It ain't good enough for that. Why, she
worships the ground I tread on. She thinks there is nobody like me in
the whole wide world.'

"'Let's 'ope she'll think so arter you're married,' I ses, trying to
cheer him up.

"'I'm not going to get married,' he ses. 'Leastways, not to 'er. But
'ow to get out of it without breaking her 'art and being had up for
breach o' promise I can't think. And if the other one got to 'ear of it,
I should lose her too.'

"'Other one?' I ses, 'wot other one?'

"Cap'n Tarbell shook his 'ead and smiled like a silly gal.

"'She fell in love with me on top of a bus in the Mile End Road,' he ses.
'Love at fust sight it was. She's a widder lady with a nice little 'ouse
at Bow, and plenty to live on-her 'usband having been a builder. I don't
know what to do. You see, if I married both of 'em it's sure to be found
out sooner or later.'

"'You'll be found out as it is,' I ses, 'if you ain't careful. I'm
surprised at you.'

"'Yes,' he ses, getting up and walking backwards and forwards;
'especially as Mrs. Plimmer is always talking about coming down to see
the ship. One thing is, the crew won't give me away; they've been with
me too long for that. P'r'aps you could give me a little advice, Bill.'

"I did. I talked to that man for an hour and a'arf, and when I 'ad
finished he said he didn't want that kind of advice at all. Wot 'e
wanted was for me to tell 'im 'ow to get rid of Miss Lamb and marry Mrs.
Plimmer without anybody being offended or having their feelings hurt.

"Mrs. Plimmer came down to the ship the very next evening. Fine-looking
woman she was, and, wot with 'er watch and chain and di'mond rings and
brooches and su