had no interests, no
pleasures, out of my husband's room.

Once, and once only, the placid surface of our lives was just gently
ruffled by an allusion to the past. Something that I accidentally said
reminded Eustace of our last interview at Major Fitz-David's house.
He referred, very delicately, to what I had then said of the Verdict
pronounced on him at the Trial; and he left me to infer that a word from
my lips, confirming what his mother had already told him, would quiet
his mind at once and forever.

My answer involved no embarrassments or difficulties; I could and did
honestly tell him that I had made his wishes my law. But it was hardly
in womanhood, I am afraid, to be satisfied with merely replying, and to
leave it there. I thought it due to me that Eustace too should concede
something, in the way of an assurance which might quiet _my_ mind. As
usual with me, the words followed the impulse to speak them. "Eustace,"
I asked, "are you quite cured of those cruel doubts which once made you
leave me?"

His answer (as he afterward said) made me blush with pleasure. "Ah,
Valeria, I should never have gone away if I had known you then as well
as I know you now!"

So the last shadows of distrust melted away out of our lives.

The very remembrance of the turmoil and the trouble of my past days in
London seemed now to fade from my memory. We were lovers again; we were
absorbed again in each other; we could almost fancy that our marriage
dated back once more to a day or two since. But one last victory over
myself was wanting to make my happiness complete. I still felt secret
longings, in those dangerous moments when I was left by myself, to know
whether the search for the torn letter had or had not taken place. What
wayward creatures we are! With everything that a woman could want to
make her happy, I was ready to put that happiness in peril rather than
remain ignorant of what was going on at Gleninch! I actually hailed
the day when my empty purse gave me an excuse for going to my banker's
correspondent on business, and so receiving any letters waiting for me
which might be placed in my hands.

I applied for my money without knowing what I was about; wondering all
the time whether Benjamin had written to me or not. My eyes wandered
over the desks and tables in the office, looking for letters furtively.
Nothing of the sort was visible. But a man appeared from an inner
office: an ugly man, who was yet beautiful to my ey