ring
on it the name of the other chemist. I threw it aside on the counterpane
of the bed, among some other loose papers. My ill-tempered nurse
complained of the litter, and crumpled them all up and put them away
somewhere. I hope the chemist will not suffer through my carelessness.
Pray bear it in mind to say that he is not to blame.

"Dexter--something reminds me of Miserrimus Dexter. He has put your
Diary back again in the drawer, and he presses me for an answer to his
proposals. Has this false wretch any conscience? If he has, even he will
suffer--when my death answers him.

"The nurse has been in my room again. I have sent her away. I have told
her I want to be alone.

"How is the time going? I cannot find my watch. Is the pain coming back
again and paralyzing me? I don't feel it keenly yet.

"It may come back, though, at any moment. I have still to close my
letter and to address it to you. And, besides, I must save up my
strength to hide it under the pillow, so that nobody may find it until
after my death.

"Farewell, my dear. I wish I had been a prettier woman. A more loving
woman (toward you) I could not be. Even now I dread the sight of your
dear face. Even now, if I allowed myself the luxury of looking at you,
I don't know that you might not charm me into confessing what I have
done--before it is too late to save me.

"But you are not here. Better as it is! better as it is!

"Once more, farewell! Be happier than you have been with me. I love you,
Eustace--I forgive you. When you have nothing else to think about, think
sometimes, as kindly as you can, of your poor, ugly

"SARA MACALLAN."*

*****

* Note by Mr. Playmore:

The lost words and phrases supplied in this concluding portion of the
letter are so few in number that it is needless to mention them. The
fragments which were found accidentally stuck together by the gum, and
which represent the part of the letter first completely reconstructed,
begin at the phrase, "I spoke of you shamefully, Eustace;" and end with
the broken sentence, "If in paying me this little attention, you only
encouraged me by one fond word or one fond look, I resolved not to
take--" With the assistance thus afforded to us, the labor of putting
together the concluding half of the letter (dated "October 20") was
trifling, compared with the almost insurmountable difficulties which we
encountered in dealing with the scattered wreck of the preceding pages.

*****

CHAP