h us: the tea is frequently made up
of fragments of dinner, and the beds are always sprinkled with crumbs.
Their source is a mystery, unless they fall from the clothing of the
chambermaids, who frequently drop hairpins and brooches and buttons
between the sheets, and strew whisk brooms and scissors under the
blankets.

We have two general servants, who are supposed to do all the work of the
house, and who are as amiable and obliging and incapable as they well
can be. Oonah generally waits upon the table, and Molly cooks; at
least she cooks now and then when she is not engaged with Peter in the
vegetable garden or the stable. But whatever happens, Mrs. Mullarkey, as
a descendant of one of the Irish kings, is to be looked upon only as an
inspiring ideal, inciting one to high and ever higher flights of happy
incapacity. Benella ostensibly oversees the care of our rooms, but she
is comparatively helpless in such a kingdom of misrule. Why demand clean
linen when there is none; why seek for a towel at midday when it is
never ironed until evening; how sweep when a broom is all inadequate
to the task? Salemina's usual remark, on entering a humble hostelry
anywhere, is: "If the hall is as dirty as this, what must the kitchen
be! Order me two hard-boiled eggs, please!"

"Use your 'science,' Benella," I say to that discouraged New England
maiden, who has never looked at her philosophy from its practical or
humorous side. "If the universe is pure mind and there is no matter,
then this dirt is not a real thing, after all. It seems, of course,
as if it were thicker under the beds and bureaus than elsewhere, but
I suppose our evil thoughts focus themselves there rather than in the
centre of the room. Similarly, if the broom handle is broken, deny
the dirt away--denial is much less laborious than sweeping; bring 'the
science' down to these simple details of everyday life, and you will
make converts by dozens, only pray don't remove, either by suggestion or
any cruder method, the large key that lies near the table leg, for it
is a landmark; and there is another, a crochet needle, by the washstand,
devoted to the same purpose. I wish to show them to the Mullarkey when
we leave."

Under our educational regime, the 'metaphysical' veneer, badly applied
in the first place, and wholly unsuited to the foundation material,
is slowly disappearing, and our Benella is gradually returning to her
normal self. Perhaps nothing has been more useful