?
The Boss.

Who is it, after all the noise
Against the methods he employs
Is meekly followed by the boys?
The Boss.

Who, when he gets alone where we
That boast about the liberty
We have can neither hear nor see
Says: "Oh, what fools these mortals be!"
The Boss.

_Chicago Times-Herald._

CHANGES.

One hundred years ago to-day,
With wildernesses here,
With powder in his gun, the man
Went out and got the deer.

But now the thing is somewhat changed,
And on another plan;
With powder on her cheeks the dear
Goes out and gets the man.

_Indianapolis Sun._

THE SULTAN'S THREAT.

The Sultan of Sulu is the man who is not afraid. He imported an
eighteen-thousand-dollar uniform from Paris for the occasion of the Taft
reception not long ago and when the costume came he refused to pay duty
on it. The custom authorities made a fuss and threatened to keep the
uniform.

"Very well," said Mr. Sultan, "keep your old uniform, but understand that
I shall wear that at the reception or nothing." The horrified officers
perceived that he meant what he said and the suit was handed over in
silence.--_Minneapolis Tribune._

A FRAGMENT.

Only a woman's hair,
Long, delicate, and slender;
Light as the spider's silken lair,
Soft as a moonbeam tender.

One that some hapless swain
Might carry as a token
Of her he loves, yet loves in vain,
With constancy unbroken.

For such as this, I ween,
Knights dead and gone have battled;
When lance met lance in tourney keen,
And sword on buckler rattled.

And yet it makes me swear
At our confounded slavy;
For I'll be hanged if I can bear
Such relics in the gravy!

_Pick-Me-Up._

REED'S WAY OUT OF IT.

A story is told of Thomas B. Reed by neighbors who knew him in his
childhood to the effect that once, when sent to the grocery store with a
jug for vinegar, he forgot what he was told to get, and, when asked by the
grocer what he wanted, replied.

"Smell of the jug, and give me a quart."

_Boston Herald._

CAUSE FOR ALARM.

The late Dr. Boardman of Philadelphia used to relate this on himself: "I
preached a funeral sermon at one time, and spoke on the resurrection. I am
sure I spoke longer than was my custom.

"The undertaker was a man of nervous temperament, and as t