ddha, and in fact I thought of the many ancient and
modern leaders of great movements, and of new thoughts, my admiration is
insistent to everything that is noble and pure in sentiment and praxis,
but there is only one leader, whom my spirit admires the best and I
worship him with love and devotion, the man who gave his life for me. I
knew I was free through his death and I was happy. The Hierarchical
church was opposing me unreasonably; my own dearest and nearest
relatives did not understand me, their strongest argument being, how
could I sacrifice such a high office and deny a promising greater
future and still be in my right mind?
Not being satisfied in my own heart, much less convinced in my mind, I
made a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, in order to find out whether Jesus was
the only Saviour of mankind without the necessity of a priest. It was
then and there, while kneeling on my knees upon that rock of Golgotha
that came to me with startling force and clearness that I must be a
follower of Jesus Christ and not a representative. All men may live on
the Christ-like way and be happy, but the man who dares personify
himself with the authorities belonging only to Jesus, that man must be a
faker; "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life
for his friends" and I knew Jesus was my friend, the only friend left to
me, while every other friend had forsaken me. In that little cabin I
felt his companionship, and looking at the clock on the dresser I beheld
in the mirror a pleasant face smiling at me. The hour was nearly
midnight and I retired, singing "He promised never to leave me alone."
The voyage from Piraeus to Naples is said to be the best and grandest in
Mediterranean, and in company of a royal fellow traveller might have
been interesting even to the most eccentric Yankee, but to me it was a
monotonous event, and the second evening while I was walking for some
exercise on the deck, H. R. H. came up to me graciously expressing his
regrets for not seeing me at the table, and inquiring if I was not
feeling well, but he soon noticed my laconical way in excusing my
absence, and he withdrew, leaving me alone in my admiration of a grand
view on a moonlighted nature in the Mediterranean. And the only thought
occupying my mind was; how soon could I get to America? For this reason
perhaps, I decided to take steamship for New York at Naples, Italy,
instead of going to Marseilles, chief seaport of France on the
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