is face with a napkin, as he was
hurrying to all quarters of the room, or, as Andy said, in praising his
activity, that he was "like bad luck--everywhere."

"There they are!" said Mr. Morgan at last.

"Oh, them bottles that won't stand," said Andy; "sure them's what I
said, with no bottoms to them. How'll I open it?--it's tied down."

"Cut the cord, you fool!"

Andy did as he was desired; and he happened at the time to hold the
bottle of soda-water on a level with the candles that shed light over
the festive board from a large silver branch, and the moment he made the
incision, bang went the bottle of soda, knocking out two of the lights
with the projected cork, which, performing its parabola the length of
the room, struck the squire himself in the eye at the foot of the table:
while the hostess at the head had a cold bath down her back. Andy, when
he saw the soda-water jumping out of the bottle, held it from him at
arm's length; every fizz it made, exclaiming, "Ow!--ow!--ow!" and, at
last, when the bottle was empty, he roared out, "Oh, Lord!--it's all
gone!"

Great was the commotion;--few could resist laughter except the ladies,
who all looked at their gowns, not liking the mixture of satin and
soda-water. The extinguished candles were relighted--the squire got his
eye open again--and the next time he perceived the butler sufficiently
near to speak to him, he said in a low and hurried tone of deep anger,
while he knit his brow, "Send that fellow out of the room!" but, within
the same instant, resumed his former smile, that beamed on all around
as if nothing had happened.

Andy was expelled the _salle a manger_ in disgrace, and for days kept
out of the master's and mistress' way: in the meantime the butler made a
good story of the thing in the servants' hall; and, when he held up
Andy's ignorance to ridicule, by telling how he asked for "soap and
water," Andy was given the name of "Suds," and was called by no other
for months after.

But, though Andy's functions in the interior were suspended, his
services in out-of-door affairs were occasionally put in requisition.
But here his evil genius still haunted him, and he put his foot in a
piece of business his master sent him upon one day, which was so simple
as to defy almost the chance of Andy making any mistake about it; but
Andy was very ingenious in his own particular line.

"Ride into the town and see if there's a letter for me," said the squire
one day to ou