ty of the subject. I recommence, therefore, in the words of my
honourable and wounded friend, and our honourable and wounded feelings,
and say, as my friend would say, or, to speak classically, M'Garry
_loquitur_"--

The apothecary bowed his head to the bit of Latin, and the doctor
continued--

"Gentlemen--unaccustomed to public thrashing, you can conceive what my
feelings are at the present moment, in mind and body. [_Bravo_!] You
behold an outrage [_much confusion_]! Shall an exaggerated savagery
like this escape punishment, and 'the calm, sequestered vale' (as the
poet calls it) of private life be ravaged with impunity? [_Bravo,
bravo!_] Are the learned professions to be trampled under foot by
barbarian ignorance and brutality? No; I read in the indignant looks of
my auditory their high-souled answers. Gentlemen, your sympathy is
better than diachylon to my wounds, and this is the proudest day of my
life."

Thunders of applause followed the doctor's address, and every one shook
M'Garry's hand, till his bruised bones ached again. Questions poured
upon him from all sides as to the nature and quantity of his drubbing,
to all of which M'Garry innocently answered in terms of exaggeration,
spiced with scientific phrases. Muscles, tendons, bones, and sinews,
were particularised with the precision of an anatomical demonstration;
he swore he was pulverised, and paralysed, and all the other lies he
could think of.

"A large stick you say?" said Murphy.

"Sir! I never saw such a stick--'t was like a weaver's beam!"

"I'll make a note of that," said Murphy. "A weaver's beam--'t will tell
well with a jury."

"And beat you all over?" said Durfy.

"From shoulder to flank, sir, I am one mass of welts and weals; the
abrasures are extensive, the bruises terrific, particularly in the
lumbar region."

"What's that," asked Jack Horan.

"The lumbar region is what is commonly called the loins, sir."

"Not always," said the doctor. "It varies in different subjects: I have
known some people whose _lumber_ region lay in the head."

"You laugh, gentlemen," said M'Garry, with a mournful smile; "but you
_know_ the doctor--he _will_ be jocular." He then continued to describe
the various other regions of his injuries, amidst the well-acted pity
and indignation of the queer fellows who drew him out, until they were
saturated, so far, with the fun of the subject. After which, Murphy,
whose restless temperament could never let him be