ing the
commission from President Lincoln, as Grant describes, he said in
substance that if it meant that he was to exercise actual command
of all the armies, without any interference from the War Department,
he was willing to accept it, otherwise he could not. To illustrate
what he meant, Grant said to me that when he was coming East to
accept that commission he determined that he would not be
"McClellanized."

The personal observation, experience, and emotions of an individual
soldier may perhaps be interesting to the reader. I have never
been a lover of war or of strife, and have never been disposed to
seek a fight or quarrel. But when once engaged in or challenged
to battle all the combativeness in human nature is at once aroused.
It is then difficult, if not morally impossible, to decline the
challenge. At all events, that question is not even thought of at
times. One of the most difficult lessons a commander has to learn
is when to offer or accept battle, and when to refrain or decline
--that is, to be complete master of his own natural combativeness.
That courage which is the highest quality of a private or a
subordinate officer may become extremely dangerous in a commander,
unless dominated by that higher moral courage which is undisturbed
by excitement or passion. Grant probably possessed this higher
quality in a greater degree than any other commander of our time.
Sherman and Thomas also possessed it in a very high degree. In
Sherman it was the more remarkable because he was naturally impulsive,
and often manifested this trait, especially in minor matters. He
acquired the power of absolute self-command in battle. With Thomas
this quality appeared to be perfectly natural, as it did with Grant.

Since I had to fight, I sometimes regretted that I could not have
a chance with a musket in the ranks (behind a good parapet and
"head-log," of course!), for I was a remarkably good shot in my
youth. But I never had a chance to fire a shot in battle except
once, and that was with my artillery at Fredericktown, Missouri,
where not an officer or man in the battery had any idea how to
point a field-piece and give it proper elevation according to the
distance. I quickly found the proper elevation by the means well
known to artillerists, and then directed the battery to go on firing
at that elevation, while I was called upon by the commanding officer
to devote myself to some men with muskets. I have seen this p